


To Oblivion

by Cascading_Colors



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Accidental Drug Use, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bullying, Eating Disorders, Eren Yeager Has Heterochromia Iridum, M/M, Mikasa Ackerman & Levi Are Related, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Past Cutting, Physical Abuse, Slow Build, Somewhat, Suicide, TW:Suicide, Verbal Abuse, bulimic!Eren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-02-10 14:32:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 36,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2028609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cascading_Colors/pseuds/Cascading_Colors
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi is a 22-year-old cashier at Survey Convenience Store that is studying for a photography major. Eren Yeager is 20-year-old with dark secrets that are pulling him over the edge. When these two individuals meet, somebody will be left with picking up the broken pieces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Convenient Store Shift

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Isyadelee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isyadelee/gifts).



> This is my first fic please dont kill me...yet
> 
> Credits goes to isyadele for the headcannon

I can't stand people. It is not that hard to pick whatever the hell you want, pay, and leave. It's getting really annoying to see people looking a little too hard at an item. I had to walk over to some of them to snap them out of whatever trance they're in so that they can get whatever they need to buy and leave. It's worse when people are in front of the counter, "trying" to select what type of cigarette, lottery ticket, or number they want. Most of the time its all three. Like seriously it is not that hard to pick three to five fucking numbers for a lottery ticket or picking a damn cigarette. A toddler can do better than this at a faster rate.

In the midst of all of the chaos in the store, I see the whole new mess at the back. I groaned loudly and start my journey to the back of the store to clean the mess that the customers had left. Five bags of chips and two bottles of soda laid on the floor. A frustrated sigh slipped from my lips as I began to pick up the items off the floor The front door open and I can hear a familiar loudmouth walk in. Turning around to see Hanji in her usual attire, a Cloud T-shirt with leggings and converses. It's not that I don't like her but after her little experiment inside this store, I wasn't a happy camper when she is here in the flesh after being banned from appearing in the store for at least a full six months. She is early by a full month and knowing Hanji, her mischievous smile that can only lead to (in her case) legal problems.

"LEEEEVIIIII!!!!!!" Hanji squealed. I squat down to pick the remaining mess on the floor. I might as well listen to what she has to rant about.

"What the hell do you want shitty-glasses" 

"Do you want to go--"

"No" I cut her off because I knew where this conversation is about to lead off to and I was in no mood at the moment to talk about it. Just yet.

"I didn't fin--"

"And don't want to hear about it" Wow this is slightly fun and getting me nowhere.

"Levi, listen." I stood up and faced her with my kinda divided attention to the brunette. "There is going to be a meet up in a couple of days and I'm saying do you want to come with me?"

"Is Erwin going to be there?"

"Yes, but--"

"Hell no." I give a glare to her so that she can drop the subject and trail of thought. She looks into my eyes and dropped it. She knew she was skating on thin ice when she mentions his name. I was done with him and I'm not opening that chapter of my life again. That chapter can sit on a shelf and rot because I don't care anymore. Erwin has given me enough pain from my past relationship as it is. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be the person that I am now.

As I put the items in their respective places, Hanji kept going on with a different conversation. Honestly, I know that she doesn't need to come here and try to cheer me up when I'm working. Hanji has a shit ton of work for her biology and computer science majors, but she goes out of her way to bother me. I respect that about her even though it is a pain in the ass for me on certain days, even when she comes in the store at the worst timing. She is like a sister I never got and to Hanji its vice versa including the short and grumpy parts. I was back at the counter with the cash register with Hanji when a jingle came from the entrance. I looked passed her to see that a customer came in.

Actually, I don't really care when customers come in, but this one off the bat I didn't like him. He looks like a drunken idiot in a suit. I hate people like him. It's like they waste away in alcohol, money, and nothing else and this drunk was no better. A person can have a Ph.D. in English and still be consumed by whatever demons you are trying to rid yourself of. The bastard took a six-pack and vodka and walked up to the counter to pay off whatever the hell he got. Hanji tensed up. I knew that she wasn't okay around drunkards like that so I lead her the back of the counter and sat her underneath the countertop and told her to wait until I was done.

I can smell the alcohol eradicated from him. He puts the six-pack and vodka on the counter and I scanned the shit so I can get this over with.

"Your total is nineteen dollars." I start to stare at this man. The drunk has lifeless blue-green eyes that were hiding behind glasses, a stubble (fuck the stubble a fucking beard), and brown shoulder length hair tied at the back. He looks like your average pedophile. I had a bad feeling that this wouldn't be the last time I will see him. He was paying for his things when he started to mumble about beating the living shit out of some worthless piece of shit. I didn't catch what he who he was refering to but I know that it's not me. I'm the last person to start a fight with. He continues to mumble his violent plot on beating the person until the words 'my son' slips out. That is where I draw the line of this bullshit. 

"What did you say?" I said venomously as I received the twenty. He looks down at me with disgust, and I look back at him with the same gesture he is giving me.

"It wasn't towards, you midget, so mind your damn business or you will get punched in the face for snooping around. Nosy ass bastard." The drunkard said with venom dripping out of each word. I start to look all around the store because I am trying to figure out who the hell is he talking to like that. I could feel rage building in him, but my temper was steadily rising. The veins start to pop off my forehead and hands as I balled them up. My eyes were shooting imaginary bullets from their orbs to the man in front of me, killing him in creative ways. I was about to say something witty, but I felt a tug of my pants. I looked down and Hanji was silently telling me not to do it. Not today. I take a deep breath and slowly release it. I repeat this one more time and realize that I didn't give him his change. I put the amount given and the register opened its mouth. I put the twenty in and take a single dollar out and push the tongue back closed.

"Here is your change. Don't ever walk into this store again." I said it as low and calm as possible as I slam the dollar into his hands with such force while remaining calm. He snatches to change and sucks his teeth. The bastard walks off the store premises. How dare he abuse his child? That child does not deserve any of that bullshit that man is giving him. As much as I would love to beat him with a millimeter of his life left I can't. I can't become a vigilante as much I want to because things come back to kick you in the ass hard as hell. That is fucking karma at its best.

Hanji was rocking on the heel of her feet in fear and tears. For once, I feel really shitty for almost blowing up at his face. I know that Hanji has a fear of these type of people, especially with men, because of a past trauma. It reminds her of a certain person I wouldn't mind beating the shit out of either. Seeing him can bring a million things that can surface again and it's never pleasant. I got on the floor with her in a matter of seconds, not caring how filthy the floor is, and cradle her to calm down with breathing exercises. There was no way I was going to leave her to subject to her fear alone. 

He left with his stench and me wondering who is his child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT OF AUGUST 12, 2016: I have re-edited this chapter so that it makes sense with the later chapters.


	2. Homework and School Flow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for suicide

I clocked out of the store at ten o clock then guide Hanji to her Camry.

"Are you okay?" I ask her because it took me thirty minutes to calm her down this time. It actually scares me to see Hanji like this. On average it would take fifteen minutes tops to get her to her usual perky self. This one took twice as long. 

"Yes Lele I'm fine now, I promise. " I give her a look that said 'I don't believe you'. "Seriously, I'm fine. I'll see you tomorrow Lele" Shitty-Glasses yells as she drives off.

"Don't call me that" I yell but, with wasted efforts because she sped off from the store. I walk back to the store to grab my things from my locker. I slip my jacket on and my bookbag, turn off the lights, walk out, and lock up the store or the night. I am now left to my devices till eight A.M. It's now 10:27 if I can get home in five minutes I could dick around Netflix for a full three hours. Then it hits me, my fucking homework isn't done. I curse vividly in English and French. I have a knack of procrastinating assignments to the last minute. I wouldn't be surprised if my future self came to punch the shit out of me for this type of dumb shit. I start to pick up the pace because my brain now wants to be useful and start to remember the shitload of work I have to do.

Well, fuck sleep at this point of time because of my procrastination habits. I jump on my bike, put the helmet on, give the bike life and sped off. I know how screwed I was when I get home. Luckily was ten minutes away from my minimal wage job, but fucking twenty minutes away from Maria University (what a tragedy). I got there in five minutes for speeding (which I don't recommend doing. Unless shit happens.) raced up eight flights of stairs to the apartment number of four-thirty-nine and unlocked the door. The flat itself was immaculate, not a hair out of place nor a dust in sight. I neatly place my bag and jacket on a random chair. I sped off to my laptop that was at the other side of the kitchen counter. I should of have flip the device it towards me, but I'm not thinking straight at the moment. My laptop came to life when I open the top. My email was open to me in a matter of seconds. With a few clicks of the touch-pad, I pull out at least five assignments that were due in the morning and afternoon.

I did the one that I deem easy, photography. I grab my Canon camera, that is hanging dangerously on the chair handle and rush out the door. I was in front of the stairs when I started to feel my pockets. Shit, my phone. I run back to my flat and I realize I left the damn door open. Whatever made me check for my phone, God, thank you. I grab my keys and my phone and ran out of my flat while making sure that the door is closed and locked.

I never regretted a decision so bad in my life. Running five flights of stairs wasn't the smartest idea. There was an elevator that goes straight to the roof. But I was at the top of the building with breathlessness and stickiness from my back. I _hate_ those feeling. It takes me a bit for time to shake off the feeling and walk to my usual seat. Right on top of the elevator roof. I sit there when I need to take a picture of something at a different angle (yes that means height too.)

For Pixis, I am required to take a photo of the moon in a different and creative perspective. So I turn on my camera and started to take pictures of the full moon draping its light on the city. It looked like the city was bathing in the moonlight. The time is now eleven fifty-five P.M. I take at least five to ten photos of the moon until I heard a sob. I turn to my right to see a figure standing on the edge. My eyes are increasing in size at the sight, my mind made a click and I knew what's about to happen. I got off the elevator roof and slowly walk up to the person.

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask the person. The figure turned its face to reveal a boy with lifeless ocean orbs that spill tears from them. He chokes back a sob and shakes his head.

"I just don't want to be here anymore." He squeaks out. It happened too fast for me. Like time was on fast forward for at least for thirty seconds. He turns away from me and falls into the moon. There was a click or snap of something. I try to run towards him. Tried to catch him before he leaned forward but, I wasn't fast enough. I got to the ledge to grab him, but he was already halfway down the building. I didn't hear the sickening sound of a body to the concrete. Actually, I didn't hear anything at all. I walk to the elevator to get my keys, my camera, and my phone and put the smaller items in my pocket. The feeling of dread washs all over me. I didn't get to him on time. 

"Damn it!" I yell as I punch the brick wall, then and again and again. I stop because of the growing blood patch on the wall. I slid down the wall and looked at my bloody knuckles.

"Damn it all!" I said quietly. Well, I can't sit here, on my ass, here for the night. I get up and proceed to walk down the flight of stairs, to my flat, in shame and dread.

_____________________________________________________________________

It's four o clock in the morning and I basically have three out of four essays typed and a whole chapter of calculus to done. My contacts have been replaced with my prescribed glasses. I take them off and start to rub the bridge of my nose with my good hand. I have one more essay to do, but I lost the motivation to do the eight-page biography of Napoleon of the West. The image of that boy falling over will haunt me for the months to come. I couldn't even sleep because of that. But ever since the boy's suicide, there wasn't a sound of a body crashing onto the ground. I had changed into my PJs since, but the thought of it was itching me to snoop around the premises for the body. Damn, my curiosity for getting in the way. I slip on my slippers, put back on my glasses and walk out of the flat with my phone and keys once again.

I was in front of the apartment building. My phone's flashlight was turned on so I can see what was in front of me. Just in case something was lurking on the floor, I am ready (fight or flight). I walk around the entire building and saw nothing. Strange, the dude fell from the roof and I know for a fact that humans can't fly. I heard a shuffle from the dumpster. My head made a quick left. I lift my flashlight to the dumpster to see what it was. A rat. A fucking rat came out. I have never so disappointed, miserable, and pissed off at the same time. So, with mixed emotions, I gave up on looking for the boy and start to walk back to my flat. 

_____________________________________________________________________

"MORNING SUNSHINE!" Shitty-Glasses yells as she walks in my flat uninvited.

"Don't talk to me, don't look at me, fuck it avoid me for the whole damn day!" I said to her as firmly as my patience can give out while giving a tired glare. I didn't sleep at all. My eyes have dark, big ass bags under them and my bad hand has started to sting from underneath the bandages. 

"Ooh someone's grumpy and looks like complete shit."

"I know." Ah, my best friend when it comes to idiots was sarcasm. "Well, since you're here, help me on my eyes." The way Shitty-Glasses eyes glinted in untapped excitement never cease to amaze me. She pulls out concealer of my skin color and a brush. "Wait, why the hell do you have a concealer in my color?" 

"Did you forget that you were my makeup dummy for the summer?" Hanji said while leading me to a stool. I sat down as she began to remove my glasses and clean my face with a wipe.

"Yes, those were the worst three months of my life" I blurted out. I could feel the liquid being lightly patted on my under my eyes.

"Come on, it wasn't that bad," She said as the word bad is being stretched out. I gave her the 'Are you shitting me right now' face. "Okay was little bad."

"Little bad my ass, I was a fucking clown."

"Changing the subject, why is your hand all bandaged up?" Shit, I should tell, but I don't feel ready tell her. She would deem it as a hallucination anyway. As soon as she was done with my eyes she gave me a mirror. I see the miracle she perform.

"I fell going down the stairs," I said. I look away from the mirror to see that Shitty-Glasses is giving me the look of skeptical.

"Why does it feel like you're lying to me?" She gets closer to my face. I slightly push her and put on my glasses once again.

"Leave me alone I need finish my homework."

"Why didn't you finish it?" She ask and I roll my eyes.

"Well, if I wasn't on the borderline of being drunk and the trip to the police department, may be my shit would have been done." Or the fact that I witness someone commit suicide in front of me last night.

"You know that you could have done that shit last month" I lost it. I walk around her and place a well-put foot on Hanji's back, knocking her down. While she is on the floor I put one arm around her neck and another on her leg and started the process of pulling both limbs towards the middle.

"Okay, okay stop UNCLE, UNCLE, MERCY, OH SWEET JESUS STOP. YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK MY BAAACK!!!" Hanji pounded the floor, but I kept going. I'm going the make a human bow and she's the first tempt. Eventually after one minutes of screaming and wailing I let go.

"What. It was my opinion." She scowls at me while she gets up from the floor.

"And your opinion sucks ass."

"Wait aren't we late?" Confusion was painted on my face. I look at the time on my phone and it was ten minutes to eight. I swore to myself because the time I was "talking" with Hanji I could of use the time to pack all of my shit in my bag. I take a good look at my clothes which was a red tank top that states in big black letters "I'm not short, I'm fun sized" (its fucking ironic that I'm five feet four) knee length khaki slacks and all black Van's with knee high socks that have red and blue rings on top. I was pretty decent enough as it is and walked out the house with Hanji and with my newly packed shit. I already know what can happen when you mix Hanji and my house together. Did that shit once, ain't never doing that again.

"Did you walk or drive here?" I ask. She pick up her bag and started to walk with me. 

"Walked."

"Okay, I'll take you." I tell her. Now to get to Maria in five minutes without a ticket.

_____________________________________________________________________

I am now in my second-period class: Photography. It's not like I want to be a photographer (well, maybe) it just that the world is beautiful yet cruel at the same time. Like nature, for example. You can never find it shitty. That's is why I'm on the second floor in room two-forty-nine taking the class with Dot Pixis as my professor. Apparently an old man, who looks like he, can go into retirement any second, but hey its none of my business as I sip my bottle of Lipton iced tea.

I sit in the back of the class with my laptop open to the essay that I have failed to finish at five in the morning and my glasses on because I have completely forgotten to put my contacts on this morning. Shitty-Glasses is the exact reason that why I forgot my contacts that was on my dresser. More reasons why I should kill Hanji. Hold on, that's messed up. The only reason why she was there was because I cannot walk or drive around with dark ass bags under my eyes. So I can't blame her. 

My Canon camera is right next to me. I just gave him the memory card from the camera. Currently, I am working on the 8-page essay on the Napolean of the West for History when Pixis put my memory card into his Mac Laptop. Apparently I'm the first person for the picture share. As I'm working on page 6 out of 8 I hear a collected amount of students oo's and ah's at my work. Then a class worth of gasping of horror. I was mildly confused, but I didn't care because this paper was due next period.

"That's fucked up" some random dude from the front of the class said.

"What the hell" another person states out loud.

"That's real sick" the cluster of people are now talking. If they could shut the fuck up and let me concentrate on finishing the essay I'll be golden. Some guy had the nerve to bump me and made me delete page seven. I looked at him, glaring at him with untouched rage. I crack my knuckles intensely. This asshole, no, this motherfucker is going to die by me charges are damned after he types this shit up. But quickly told me to look at the screen. Which I did and saw blurred lines and mashed up color everywhere? Basically means that I barely see shit without my glasses. It's really funny because I can see my laptop screen because of magnifier and gotten large letter keyboard stickers (thanks, Armin). Also, it's a habit of mine to remove my glasses because of how annoying it gets after having to clean them after five to ten seconds. Glasses are now back on my face to sharpen the blurs and colors to objects.

That's when I see my very own picture that will haunt me for the rest of the month. The picture had all the expectations, but the moon was blocked a person with its arms out and falling on the corner. Like it was going to fall into the moon. But that's not the case, I took the fucking picture of the same person from last night committing suicide. I went from my stoic demeanor to horror and shock in the time frame of five seconds. It would have been comical if the situation was different. I completely forgot to check my photos last night, but seeing that last night made me lose motivation and sleep for the night. 

"Class is dismissed for today. Please take your cards before leaving" Pixis had emotions all over his age stricken face. Everyone left with a quick "bye" and a grab of a memory card except me. Pixis still has my card in his laptop. So I can't leave even if I wanted to. I stayed behind in my seat and closed my laptop.

Levi?

"Yeah?"

"I would like to have a word with you, Ackerman" I'm cringing internally at the words that came out of his mouth. I pack my things and carry them to the front of the room and rest it on a nearby table. Then I started my walk of dread to Pixis' table. I knew I was screwed. No, more than screwed, fucked sounds appropriate term for this problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDITED ON AUGUST 16, 2016


	3. Dead Child

"Look I can explain..." I really can't this at all.

"Don't try. I know wasn't your intentions to take such a graphic photo." I winced at the tone of his voice. At least I'm not getting any backlash for the assignment.

"How do you know that?" 

"The picture is a little blurry like you were rushing to take the picture without feeling the passion or checking the surrounding. Plus the info on the picture says that you took it last night so there's that." I feel pretty stupid right now. "I shouldn't accept this anyway because you took it at midnight.

"How did you know that I took this picture at midnight?"

"You just told me." I manage to out myself. Good job Levi. Dot smirks as he walks to his table and safely ejects my card. He gives it to me and I immediately put it back to the camera.

"Does it really matter in this case?"

"It matters if you still want to be on Dean's list." The amount of shit Hanji and I do to annoy the principal, Dean's list is probably the only real reason why I hadn't been expelled yet.

"Alright, if I'm not in any type of trouble why am I here." Blunt and straightforward is the way to get information. It is also a sure-fire way to get in trouble.

"Because you have homework to do."

"But you are not answering my question about me being here"

"And I said that because I am giving you homework."

"Pixis..."

"Levi..." We stood there for awhile just staring at each other to see whose go to crack first. I gave up after five seconds of the staring contest.

"Okay, what do you want me to do?" Oh, joy, more work on top of other things I have to do.

"Find this person." I laughed out loud. It took me some time to calm down before he continued. "I believe that this person is still among the living." I look at him skeptically. He give me a calm look back.

"That is not what I'm laughing about, Dot." I gave him a straight face. The old man rolled his eye. I rolled my eye too because your, not the only one who can do it.

"Either way, I'm counting this as 70% of your grade so you might as well do it."

"Really, Pixis?"

"Hey, it's your choice of doing it or not." I start to move out of the classroom with my things. I grabbed the handle to pull the open the door when Pixis calls out to me.

"When you find him, bring him to class if you can." Unless I find him, I don't see that happening anytime soon. I waved my hand to him. Now I'm on a manhunt for looking for a boy with lifeless looking eyes. That was the only thing I can remember from last night. Pulling out my phone, I look at the time. I have at least 37 min head to the library, finish the essay and print the damn thing before my third class for the day. That's more than enough time for me.

___________________________________________

I'm walking towards my minimum wage job: Survey Convenience Store. Where all the impossible things happen. Like the time, horse face was singing Baby by Justin Bieber. I recorded 3 minutes of that shit and posted on YouTube. I don't care what you think, but that shit was hilarious or stated otherwise by the two million views on YouTube. I walk in the store to see the usual long face. Jean or John. Whatever the fuck his name could be, glaring at me. Oh, wow he's still pissed at me.

"Hi" 

"I don't like you."

"Wow, you what?" I asked him. He shrugs and I continued. "I really fucking don't care" He walked to the back, got his things and clocked out. As he was walking towards the door to his car, I shouted out to him.

"I have more of that shit if you want to go public." That made him run out the door with a loud "fuck you". I clocked in and put most my things at the back, leaving my camera with me. The only shitty thing that got me into this mess in the first place. I looked at it and glared at the plastic piece of shit. I wanted to chuck this thing at a wall hard, but then again I need to pass the course and I don't have enough to buy another one. I could drop the damn course but, Hanji would kill me for it. I decided to leave the topic of that course alone.

I look at the picture and started analyzing it. The person had a green sweater with a white and blue overlapping wing-like logo on the back of it. The logo is Wings of Freedom, a popular brand of clothes and shoes. I would know it because I have brought a shit load of company’s clothes two years ago and they still fit this day. Going back to the subject at hand, the person also had dark jeans and black and white converses on. Other than having chocolate colored hair the details, that is the only thing I can pick up on. I put the camera down on the cashier deck and looked up to see that some of the shelves needed to be restocked. I looked up at the clock that reads four fifteen. A sigh slipped out my lips. I have a full 5 hours and 45 minutes to go. Yay.

____________________________________________

A full one hour to go and I was bored as shit. Other than a few regulars, drunkards, and Hanji it's been normal. I share this shift with a guy who has more freckles on his body than all the stars in the sky. He’s sickeningly sweet and kind. More of the reason why some of us in the store call him Freckled Jesus. (his name is Marco. I think. Damn, I need to start remembering these names, but that’s when I start to give a fuck.) He loves to start conversations with everyone. I swear he needs to open a damn church if he wants to do this type of shit. I bet everyone will love him there.

I look up to see someone enter the store. Freckles (I’m going with that) was on his break so I take upon the cashier. The boy looked no more than nineteen walked around the store. He looked fragile, as in if I was to come up and touch him he would shatter into a million pieces. My observation starts now. I have been doing this since my shift started because hey, I was bored as hell.

He has the same clothes and shoes as the picture. With the same chocolate color hair. I can’t believe this shit. The kid, that was supposed to be dead yesterday at 12 freaking midnight, is roaming around the store like nothing actually happened. I found the person in the picture in one fucking shift. This shit was too fucking easy, like where are the traps and shit.

When he appeared at the desk he had a lot of shit on the counter. Two large bottles of soda, ten bags of chips and hella candy bars. The one word that popped into my head: Diabetes. I look at him to see how thin he looks, his cheekbones are popping out slightly and the clothes, he wearing, is a little large. His eyes were the worse part of his face. They were the color of the ocean but dead, with dark baggy rims that tailed the bottom of his bloodshot eyes. He smelt like cigarettes, but his face tells that not a single cigarette sat on his lips. His whole body was screaming out help him in great urgency. Dead eyes look a broken mirror with duck tape wrapped around to look like it's fixed. I started a conversation with him.

"Excuse me, are you okay?" I asked him. He looks up and tilts his head to the side. It looks like he didn't hear me. "Are you okay?"

"Um, yeah? Why wouldn't I be?" He sounded clearly unsure what he's feeling right now. I give him a skeptical look he gives me a confused look in return. 

"Do you remember last night?"

"What?"

"Last night, you know, you were on the ledge?" At this point, Dead Eyes leans on the counter and looks at me coldly. It looks like I hit a nerve. A large one.

"Look, I don't know what you are trying to do, but you can stop now. If you are trying to befriend me because of yesterday, then it's not working. I am, not some pity post. Please, just stop." His voice spoke out in anger and frustration, but his face and body language speak in a different tone. Silently telling me that this lonely boy aches for a friend. 

"I'm concerned about your mental state. I wasn't making it a pep talk for a shitty person like you. Your price is twelve fifty." I packed his things angrily while he gives me the payment. I don’t know why I looked at him I felt some type of nostalgic feeling from my past. Marco walks up to me with concern.

"What happen?"

"I gave one fuck about something and it kicks me in the ass." I said while I storm away from Freckles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I update at random so please take note on that
> 
> EDIT OF APRIL 1, 2017


	4. Note

I don't normally wear glasses but when I do, its either I need to get a job, I can't find my contacts, my eyes are irritating me, or it's a chat with Pixis. I walked up to Pixis room with a resting bitch look on my face. This small 'chat' is going to take a while. Upon entering the room, Pixis was sitting on his old office chair with his hands folded. Like he was expecting me at this point of the day to hear me bitch about the project that has newly shown flaws in it.

"What seems to be the problem, Levi?" Oh great. He somehow figures out that I had problems. That made it easier for me to bitch out now.

"I can't do this."

"Do what, college?" Oh, joy, now he acts like he has Alzheimer's. The old man remembers shit from the 80's. But that doesn't matter when my patience is running real low from all the bullshit I had to put up yesterday during my shift.

"This shitty project that you fucking gave me."

"Watch your language first, secondly, repeat what you just said and thirdly, calm down." My patience now at little to none. Popping nice veins on my forehead and arm. I was nowhere near calm, oh no I was pissed. The fact that I have to do this shit that counts for seventy not fifty, Se-Ven-Fucking-Ty percent of my grade for this Goddamn class. Un-fucking-believable. Keeping quiet is the best answer for me because when I'm pissed, I'm getting real vivid and reckless with words.

"The dude for the project is a piece of shit. Let me be clear on this, I am not _babysitting_ a brat."

"Who said you were, Levi? You are acting like a small, whiny, child that didn't get an ice cream cone from the store."

"Pixis, you litt-"

"Why don't you come back to me in a better mood tomorrow after all your classes." With that being said, I grabbed my things and slam the door. While the door swings closed with a loud bang, I saw someone running at the speed of a turtle (screw that, the turtle is faster than that) away from the window I newly cracked. Great, an eavesdropper, and with me seeing red, I decide to chase it. Well, I needed to vent out on somebody anyway. I couldn't vent out on Hanji, she still on her period and trying to vent out on her while she's the devil incarnate would be a nightmare.

I caught up to the eavesdropper and knock him on the floor in a matter of seconds. Now that I am on top of him I bring my fists to his face. I stop to get a good look at him before I rearrange his face and realized. He's the same boy from yesterday on my shift and from the picture. I was five seconds away from beating away my A+ with an inch of his life. Yet he looked at me like he deserved that brutal K.O. punch in the face with those dead eyes.

"How much did you hear?" I asked him with the little calmness I had left.

"What?" His voice spells confusion, but his eyes say it all. I, on the other hand, have no time to deal with this bullshit.

"How. Much. Did. You. Hear. Kid." I was ready to explode on his face. His face morphed to fear. His eyes glazed over, and his breathing became erratic. My eyebrows furrowed because I have no clue what the hell is happening. "Hey kid, are you alright?" I asked. This looks like two really bad things: a panic attack or an asthma attack.

"Get off me." He whimper. I whip my head to the side and decide to get comfy on his stomach.

"Why should I? It's not like I have anything to do on a Wednesday afternoon." I said. 

"Get. The. Fuck. Off. Me." He wheezed. His face was red as hell and starting to look like a fish out of water.

"I'll think about it if you answer my question."

"I... Am... Not... An... Object. You can't... Use me as... A project!" He wheezed.

"See, if you said that sooner I would have been happy to comply." I got off from his stomach and ribcage. He takes a good breath of air, but he still wheezing.

"Are you asthmatic?" I asked Dead Eyes. He gives me a slight nod. "Do you have your inhaler on you?" I asked with realization sinking in.

"Left pocket." I immedately reach for his inhaler and gave it to him. He pulls the cover off and put it in his mouth and gave it two pumps. I sticked around to see if he started to wheeze again. I help the kid up and started to walk away from him. The last thing I need is get in deep shit for attempted murder.

"Why?" I stop and whip my head to the direction of the voice. 

"Huh"

"Why did you help me?" Normal people wouldn't question it. Hell, they should of have thanked me for not leaving their ass to die. This brat, Nah, this suicidal bastard wants a reason why I should of have gave him a ticket to the hospital.

"Because it would have been fucked up leaving you there like that." He looked at me and I looked back at him. Dead eyes to cold eyes. I see one emotion that broke through those lifeless eyes. Sadness. Before I get a chance to even say a word, he walks (he's running but not fast enough to be even called the action) away from me to the opposite side of the building. I should of ran up to him and asked him about that look but, with the adrenaline plus pent-up anger from yesterday and today would not be the brightest idea. I walked out of the building with my helmet on to my bike. I need someone to vent out my shitty, growing, problems. Turning on my bike and driving to the certain person I know who's good at these types of shit.

_______________________________________________

"So you're meaning to tell me that this one picture got you in this shitstorm of problems."

"Yes child, yes for the tenth time." Wow, this is getting me nowhere at the speed of light.

"And you didn't tell Hanji at all?"

"No. Even if, she's on her period. That's the last thing I need.

"My only advice are to confront him and do the project if you want to stay in the university, you know how Reiss is." I groaned.

"Is there anything else you have in mind?" 

"Other than the 30 dollars you owe me from last year then your good." 

"Goddamnit Mikasa, I said I'll pay you back"

"You said that last year." Well, there goes my gas money for today. With that being said, I gave her the amount owe to my sister, Mikasa. She is not my biological sister and the back story is complicated as hell and I'm not going into explaining the complexity of the Goddamn story. That would take me a whole year to do that shit. Well other than Hanji and Petra, Mikasa is the only person I trust to give me advice with the occasional bugging of my life. This time there was no rapid fire questions as to who I was dating. I take my leave out of her apartment. As soon as my foot, steps over the threshold she stops me.

"What do you want now. You already took my gas money."

"What did the kid look like again?" Strange, Mikasa never took an interest in other people that I bring up. Her facial expressions are either poker, resting bitch, or pure rage. So this curiosity side of her is quite new to me.

"Um. He had dead green-blue-"

"Teal?"

"If you don't stop interrupting me-"

"Okay, okay continue." She rolled her eyes and I gave her a small tch and continued.

"Eyes. He had olive looking skin and chocolate color shoulder length hair."

"Almost fits the description..." Mikasa mumbled to herself. That when I got really confused. Since when in the hell did she start looking for people. Was there a missing's person flier I missed? I walk myself back into the room and sit down to get more information on the mystery that swirls around my half-sister. 

"Who almost fits the description?" She swore to herself for saying it out loud. She knows damn well that once you leak something to me, there is no turning back at it. Mikasa left the room and return with a photo in her hand.

"This." She hands me the paper and I looked at it. It's a picture of a boy, a girl and father hand and hand. I snorted. The father looked a lot like the drunken bastard two days ago. The boy looks strikingly like the brat I met up this afternoon and yesterday. The girl looks identical to the boy. They could be twins. I looked up at her and looked at the picture.

"Why did you snort?"

"I remembered something funny. What happened to them?" 

"They disappeared off the face of the Earth for three years now."

"Do you remember this kid's name?" I point to the boy. She stares at it for a second before shaking her head.

"No. When it pops up I'll tell you."

"Shit. Okay, thanks." I left her apartment with a "bye" and headed to my bike. Now I start wonder at this one question: What the hell is this brat's name?

____________________________________________

Upon entering my photography class I give Pixis a look that states the we-need-to-talk-after-class thing. He gives the look of approval as I head over to my seat. When I got over there I can see that I have a small sheet paper on my table and it's flipped over. Oh, fucking joy another one of the "I have admired you from afar" notes was on my table. I began ripping the paper as a gentle gesture of "fuck off" when I noticed the writing on the back. It was written in chicken-scratch that's barely legible. Strange it didn't look like any of the love notes I usually receive. This one had letters that look too grim. It looks like I have my first death threat. I started reading the heavy ass paper and it states:

  


>   
>  _"I know what you and that old geezer are planning. I'm sorry, but it is **not** going to work. Also, I'm really sorry for photo-bombing your picture like that. It's impossible to fix what's already **broken** "_   
> 

I look at it repeatedly. Each time with a more confused looked and with widening eyes. It would have been comical if the situation was different. I looked at the bottom to see any type of signature but nothing. What stood out was a little painting at the bottom right-hand side. It was the infamous eyes I had encountered this whole week. They are back to haunt me. Those same dead eyes now in a form of a painting. I held the paper now resembles as watercolor paper and present this to Pixis and I drag him out the room. This can't wait a whole two fucking hours when this shit got serious.


	5. Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a side chapter.

"What is the meaning of this Levi, you can't just bring me out of my class for a conversation. This can wait at least until later."

"This is can't wait." I hand him the small paper that currently holds the note that has brought me up to this point. He looked at it and had the same reaction to I had earlier, but with a drop of a jaw.

"Do you know this person?" Pixis gave me a surprised look. I simply shook my head, causing my part to be messed up.

"Hell no. He's like a frigging ghost in this shitty university."

"He must be here on scholarship then." I gave him a skeptical look. I highly doubt that anyone can get a fucking scholarship to this shitty ass university. But, I am here on a full scholarship. Maria University is not some type of special college. Sina, on the other hand, is. Back to the conversation on hand. 

"But what's your problem then?"

"Apparently everyone wants to give me a shit ton of work and doing this is going to bring my grade down and ultimately get my ass kicked out of this college." I had to bring it out. I was Pixis' one and the only sane person in that damn class. 

"So what?"

"Midterms are in three months and with all this work plus this project plus working in a shitty store isn't going to work." That's another thing I had to bring into the light. Pixis started to look skeptical and sighed.

"Let's make a deal."

"And that is?"

"Seeing that we are in the third week of September and you getting a lot of work from most your classes, you can start this project immediately after midterms"

"That would be great." 

"Well we got a deal." I shook his hand and went back to the room. He kept the paper in his desk and I stroll down to my seat. I have a great amount of the time period away from this weird project. This kid causes me hella problems and now I have all the time in the world to see what type of hell do you exactly live in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has hella angst I'm warning you now and this chapter signifies the beginning of a time jump.


	6. Ready for Action

It is December first, the time is seven o' three A.M. and I'm freezing my ass off. Obviously the school has to be a bitch in the mornings. Which made me wonder, why the fuck did I pick all of my classes in the morning especially Calculus and Entering Business. The worse part about it is that they require a shitload of work and money. When you go to college, it either your parents have a shitload of cash, you're here on scholarship or get a job with a loan. I'm here on a full scholarship from Shiganshina High with a job. Yes, a job because a scholarship isn't paying my bills. 

What makes its worse is the fact that I can't use my bike in the morning and it's my only source of transportation. Supposedly the roads became frozen overnight, which makes it worse if I was driving the bike to the university. Hey, mind you, I appreciate my shitty life. I'm not risking to be in a coma for a few months. I have hella shit to do to be in a coma. 

Eventually after ten ass-busting falls I reach Hanji shitty place to discover that her car isn't there. I swore loudly because I completely forgot that she has been off her suspension two days ago. It's either I have some shitty times coming here or Hanji timing was impeccable for me proving that I have shitty timing. But I should be grateful that her place is about five blocks away from my original destination. I look at the time off my smartphone and it read seven-fifty-five I swore to myself, there is no fucking way I can get to the university with all this ice on the ground in under five minutes.

__________________________________________________________

Needless to say, I got there five minutes after the late bell. Strolling into calculus class took a seat next to Hanji. 

“What took you so long?” She whispered. but since its Hanji, whispers were basically a loud hushed voice.

“Well, you told me to meet you at your place and your shitty ass wasn't there.”

“I sent you a message about that”

“I didn't know. With all the bullshit, you send me it could be hidden in there.”

“ Okay, one it's not bullshit. Two, I sent it twice.” I took out my phone and showed all two-hundred and thirteen messages sent yesterday.

“Lies. All fucking lies. Also, try finding it their shitty glasses!” I told her as she scrolls through my phone messages. My phone comes in my face with a message after 2 minutes of searching. 

“Welll.”

“Shut the fuck up we’re in class.” With that, she was silent. But knowing her, that mouth of hers will be open after class. I decide that I should try to endure this whole damn day. 

_____________________________________________________

“Your total will be three dollars and forty-five cents” The lady gives me three fifty and I give her back five cents.

“Thank you and have a good day” Man I hate this job so much. The fact that I, Levi Ackerman, have to sound like a nice person completely irks me. Out of the tree hundred and eighty-nine people (yes I keep count, sue me) that came and brought shit from here, over half deserve the “asshole” attitude. I gave a sigh and looked at the time to see that it is six-thirty-nine I groan loudly. Only two hours and twenty-one minutes to go. I was here since four P.M. and my shift ends at nine. The door swings open. Oh look, my favorite person just came in. That person is no one else than Dead Eyes (I kinda of like the nickname I gave him). He walks in buys his usual shit casually walks to the register. His mood was different today. Instead of his lifeless look, an upset/depressed was painted all over his face. Dead Eyes looked a little terrified for being in here in the store in the first place. He had bandages all over his right cheek.

“Hey. Are you alright?” I asked him while scanning his items on the counter. Those big, lifeless eyes looked up at me.

“Yes. I’m fine.” 

"Are you sure? Because your face states elsewise."

"I said I'm fine. Leave me alone." He snapped. I decided not to push him because one: I don't know him like that and two: he doesn't want to talk. I gave him his total and he left the store in a quick pace.

I inspected every single inch of him on the days he was in the store which was every day. What unnerved me the most are three things: One: He's thin as hell. When I mean thin, I mean the "you look like a fucking twig" thin. The clothes (or uniform? Whatever the fucking case maybe) is fucking baggy on him. Two: his eyes. It was not the way his eyes that unnerve me anymore, was his right eye. It's supposed to be a teal (or ocean??? Fuck it, I'm not that great in colors. That's why I failed that art class in fourth grade.) But there is an unnatural gold (or amber?) Ring to it. That reminds of that one day he was at the convenience store on my shift. He came in, bought hella shit, paid, and left with all the junk he had. I looked him in the eye and he had gold eyes. But his left eye had a weird teal color ring around the gold eye. As if the eye had the whole world behind it. (Oh look, I'm getting poetically into his description oh fucking joy.) Lastly three: he sports a bruise every time I see him. It could be a cut on the cheek to a head injury. He came in one day with a limp. When I asked him what happen he said that fell off his bed. But I knew that wasn't the case. 

Sighing for the thousandth time today I return to work. Finding hope that I can get through this shift without me trying to kill someone.

_______________________________________________________

I clocked out at nine and walked out of the store. Only to lock it up for the night. My phone went off. Leave it to Hanij to call me at this point in time for something. I picked it up and answered.

“Hanji what the hell do you want now.” Oh, how wrong was I to pick up the phone and assume its shitty glasses? Note to self: always check the caller id.

“Levi, it's me” The voice itself made me gasp in horror.

“What do you want from me” I wasn't going to take any chances with him. No, not today, not tomorrow, not ever. 

“Can we talk? Please” 

“How the fuck did you get this number”

“Levi, please”

“Leave me alone. You know what you did. I’m not taking you back. There is no amount of begging to get me back. Don’t ever fucking call me again.” I ended the call and blocked the number so that it can never call me again. Well, that ruined my night. (X) Jacking in my headphones into my phone, I played a mix off my phone. Putting the headphones, I put on endless repeat and on full blast. I started to walk to my place.

Five blocks away from the store and three loops from the mix later, I decide to cut my way home through a dark alley. I don’t know why I did, but I was feeling really lazy going the long way. When I started to make my way to the alley, let just say that the sight was quite the show. A couple of junkies was pummeling someone with no stopping. The sight was amusing at first, it was the typical territory battle in Rose. Well, until I saw the victim, the chocolate mess of a hair, the sweater with a logo of wings of freedom, all too knowing linked to Dead Eyes. I could have walked passed and pretended to never see the beating of the lifetime. But nooo. I walked over there to say hello. Well, I screwed up. I took off my headphones and the phone blasted “Ready For Action” into the silent alley. There goes my stealth way of walking passed. Heads turned to me as entered in the alley in a grand way. With hands into fists, I walked over to the first junkie.

“Who the hell are you?” The first one said. My infamous glare was on, with the sneer on my lips that complemented to look. I looked murderously at them. The second one flinched at the sight of me. I took a step closer to them.

“The one that will beat you with a centimeter of your life.” The mix was still playing as he lowered head. He made his worse mistake. 

“What the hell are you going to do about it, mig-” The last ready for action I declared war onto the motherfuckers in front of me. The first drop of the mix was the first punch the junkie received. Followed by a series of kicks and punches. The first one junkie was no more than broken bones and black and blue bruises on the ground. I started to move into the last one. But this one was smarter. He took off after seeing his friend beaten into a bloody pulp. That went very well, I walked over to the boy to see livid bruises all over his face. 

“Hey are you okay?” I asked him but, with no replies.

“Hey!” I shook his shoulder and realized that he's knocked out cold. With no other option, I lifted him bridal style and walked home. When I picked him up, it felt like I was carrying nothing at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soo sorryy. The chapter that i posted earlier wasnt supposed to be posted. i was working on the chapter in anger and posted the wrong one. im soo sorry.
> 
> the (X) is a where to play what Levi was playing (if your curious)
> 
> the link is [HERE](https://soundcloud.com/spinninrecords/alvaro-joey-dale-ready-for-1/)


	7. Levi's house (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please reread chapter 6 if you have not done so. There are hella changes made to it.  
> And  
> Trigger warning for suicide

It was ten o' six when I got home. The kid in my hands was drifting in and out of consciousness. I walked towards the bathroom where I place him on the closed toilet seat. By the time I got the first aid kit from under the sink, he gain a hold of his conscience. With all the kit together I tended his bruises on his face.

“Where am I?” Dead Eyes asked me. the confused looked followed by the pained expression proved the point. I placed a band-aid on his cheek before responding to him.

“At my place”

“Why”

“You took a nap in a fucking alley that's why”

“I’m supposed to be dead” He said it casually like its normal to declare that is okay to be dead. That whole sentence seemed wrong in all levels of sanity.

“From the junkies that were beating you up?” 

“That too.” I was done with plastering up his face and moving to the living room with him.

“Then ‘how’ were you suppose to die?” I’m skeptical about bringing someone with a mental illness into my house.

“I took a step off the ledge” I knew where this was going. Now I know why they was so hell bent on beating him up. They was at the wrong place at the right time. One of them must of had broke his fall and got angry. Once the words were poured out of his split lips, tears was cascading swiftly from his eyes to his pants. I wasn't blessed with knowledge for this type of problem. I called out to him.

“Dead Eyes, do you want to talk about it?” I made it worse by calling him that. Dead Eyes continued to cry with sobs added to the equation. I groaned to myself. Not only that I made this worse than it should be, I don’t know his name. I got up and sat next to him. He lean on me and I carried him on my lap. He needed a shoulder to lean on and I gave him one of my own. It took about an hour for him to calm down. But he didn't, he cried himself to sleep. I carried him to a room next to my room where I proceeded to put him bed. I grimaced at him, his clothes are dirty and putting him on clean sheets is just a large no for me. I walked over to my room and picked up the oh-so-big clothes from my drawers and went back to the room. Came up to the sleeping boy, I started pulling off his shoes but that made him stir. Curse my grace in this.

“What the actual fuck are you doing?” 

“Its not what what it looks like.”

“Then what is this?” Wow. How in the hell did you turn from a wreck to a sass in record breaking minutes? I don't know how to explain this scene. For once in my life, I’m lost for words.

“I uhh.... clothes?” 

“And” He glare at me like I did something oh so wrong.

“Changing”

“I can do it myself.” He gets up and shoves me with “such” strength out of the room. He also slammed the door in my face. Who the hell do you think you are? I saved your ass from getting K.O. in the alley, took you to MY house not yours MY, used my shoulder as a tear bucket, and this is how you repay me? I was 5 seconds into breaking the door in front of me when my phone blared out Cascade by Tommy Trash. Hanji squished face appears on my phone. There was no need to place the phone to my ear when she sounds like megaphone to your ears. 

"Hanji, your timing is impeccable. What the hell do you want?" I stroll away from the door and walked to the kitchen. 

"I'm at your door. You forgot what today is?" As soon as she said it I swore in French. I completely forgot the date. The first of December starts Hanji's made up holiday: 25 days of Levi. It basically just me getting "gifts" every day until my birthday arrives and I can't see my presents till that time too. 

"Doors open" Not even finishing the sentence and my door is slammed open. Hanji, with her glistening smile, was standing at the threshold of my apartment.

"Hey, shitty glasses, you look like a mad man that just took a shit, close the damn door. All the heat going away." 

"Nice to meet you to midget.” Hanji with her usual antics sauntered to my living room. I cleared my throat louder than I anticipated being.

“What?” She catches where my eyes wandered to. Hanji’s mouthed the word oh and took off her boots and placed it on the shoe shelf at the entrance. 

“Are you excited?” She was rocking up and down in enthusiasm. Hanji is the only one to be this excited for all holidays and occasions especially my “holiday”.

“Not really.” I said in a bored and uninterested tone. Maybe that would make her mood dampen a bit. But she stayed in her ecstatic mood. There could be anything in the world that can bring her mood down, but I wasn’t a part of that tragically.

“Your sure” She shakes the bag that currently suppose to make mood from bored to happy. That’s cute but still, not happening.

“I don’t feel any happier than this.” I gave her the don’t- give-a-fuck look and she pouts.

“Party-pooper. I’m going to put these in the room if you don’t mind.” 

“Sure, sure” With that Hanji gets up and hikes her way to the room where Dead Eyes is changing. Oh. Shit. I just screwed up. If Hanji finds out about my little guess, God knows what Hanji would do to him. I slid (no no no I didn't ran I slid. With my socks on.) to the door but it was too late. Hanji had the door open widely with the lights on. But my guess was no where to be seen. God or some type of shit had intervened and avoided my guess and Hanji meeting each other. The windows are not open so that means he is still in the apartment somewhere.

“What happen Levi, it looks like you seen a ghost.” Hanji walks over to me after she places her gift in God know where in the room.

“Nothing okay. Just tired.” 

“Suure” With the look of are-you-shitting painted on her face. For starters, I was paler than usual and broke into sweat.

“Yes shitty glasses dammit” That shut her for 2 seconds. 

“Well I’m going to the bathroom” I waved her off and one thought flashed in my mind: he could be in the bathroom. I again slid into the bathroom and this time beat Hanji to the bathroom.

“Levi, what the hell are you doing?” I closed the bathroom door and search the small area and found no pair of dead eyes staring back at me. I stroll out the bathroom to meet a confused Hanji.

“What. There was no toilet paper.” Hanji’s eyes bored into the back of my neck as I walked faster to the kitchen. I did not sign up for this. If this is some type of fucked up hide and seek, you can stop now. You win, you can come the fuck out now.

“Well I’m leaving. I’ll return tomorrow” Hanji drifts to the door puts on her boots and opens the door.

“If I let you in.” I countered as I walk to the door and closed the door with her out. Not even ten seconds out the door and my phone do a jingle indicating a text message. I open it to see Hanji text me and it reads:

‘WHAT THE HELL. YOOU TELL ME EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU FOR THE PAST 3 MONTHS OR I SWEAR TO YOU THAT PICTURE OF YOU DRUNK ON THE COUNTER TABLE IS ON THE INTERNET IN POINT 9 SECONDS. YOU HAVE UNTIL I COME TOMORROW.’

She not in the room with me and I cringe on the non-existing yelling from the text. With all of the shit I had to put up today had drained me in every way possible. I dragged myself to my room and there. The brat, I was looking for, was on my bed. I had every intentions to kick him out of my bed but I didn't have the heart or energy to do it. With the peaceful look on his face and the bags under those closed eyes. He looked like he was getting the best sleep in God knows how long. 

"Good night" Was the last thing I said to him before I dragged my way to the guest room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not sure if im able to update as before because of school starting. i can try 1-2 times a month but ill let you know if anything comes up.
> 
> levi's ring tone [HeRe](https://soundcloud.com/tommytrash/tommy-trash-cascade-original)
> 
> chapter inspired song [hErE](https://soundcloud.com/big-lev/otto-knows-million-voices) because hanji.


	8. Attack and Dreams (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi encounters and dreams

I glanced up at the clock and stated 6:03 and groaned. I turned to my side on the bed away from the hellishly bright streaks of sunlight that bled into the bedroom. I had used the heavy material to block the dangerous rays that evaded my sleep.That didn't stop the light to seep through the blanket and affected me to wake up. A soft sigh that escaped my lips I risen to the sun that dare to wake me in this hour.

Took awhile for my eyes to stop being a dick in the natural light. I took a single sigh and it erupted into a yawn that took most of the sleep that surrounded my eyes and the rest of my body. With every crack that my body makes as I stretch out. I hear the sounds of the shower head being turned off, the brief sounds of the door open and shut, light tapping of footsteps and another couple of door sounds.

Wait... What... Who the hell is here? I looked around the room. Yep, this is still my apartment that I purchased when I started college. Why the fuck am I in the guest room. Who the FUCK in my room? No, that's not the important question here. WHO THE ACTUAL FUCK IS IN MY GODDAMNED APARTMENT??? There that was better. Scanning the room for any possible weapons and my eyes laid upon the bat with nails that spring out of it. Thank God that I kept the old bat in here. I army rolled my ass to the weapon and grabbed it before I leave the room.

Closing the door with little to no sound emitting out of it I trekked myself the room. Ear to the door, I hear the sounds that came out the room. If Hanji is in the room so help me God. I will beat the ever-loving shit out of her, I swear to God. Raising the bat, I open the door and semi swing to the head. I'm not sure if I did hit the idiot and it dropped to the ground. With limited light in here, I flipped the switch and look at the mess on the floor.

I dropped the bat and swore with everything I know. I think I committed 1st degree murder.

DEAD EYES 

One hour before

“Mom?” I glanced at the dark room. No sign of the older woman. Walking around the unfamiliar room to see nothing but darkness. There was a switch. I walked towards it and with a flick of a finger on the switch bright rays of the artificial light colors the room. Three doors was shown to me. The sign in front of me gave to options. It was choose one door or both doors. Real helpful yah Goddamned sign. There is really no real reason to hate the sign but, I hate it with a passion. With no other better idea, I walk my way to the first door.

A slow twist of the knob and a push of the door I stood in horror. He was there, pissed than ever. Reeked of fucking alcohol while drunker than the homeless guy on the street. I walked back from the door but, he spotted me. He ran towards me. My legs trembled and gave out beneath me. I manage to get out with the skin of my teeth and slammed the door with a lock. Took me a while to build strength in my legs and even out my breathe. I then got up and tried it again.

The second door held promises as I open the metal object away. I took caution in walking in this time. What laid upon me was the person I had avoided since That Time. She looked at me and smiled and walked closer to me. I screamed and ran out and lock the door. With 2 out of 3 doors of bad memories, I was real skeptical about the last door. I wanted out of this sick, twisted place and the last door held the final option. The door was open with such force that I cracked the wooden door. I walked around the room. These innocent eyes looked up and was ripped from it virginity. The person that I was looking for was hanging from a noose. Chair knocked over with blood stains covered the once beautiful chair. My mother body was covered in blood especially her face. As the fucking coward I was, I ran out of the door and locked it. Tear cascaded from my eyes and felt a hand touched my back. I turned around and the people I was running away from was happily behind me and my mother eyes was gored out.

___________________________________________________________

I bolted upward and almost gave myself a whip slash. There was no dad rushing towards me. Or my mother sockets looking at me. Nor her and her chain of insults. Only the tears that remained from the dream that felt like reality. But, my mother is still here with me. Why was my mother portrayed like that? I took a look around my surrounding. This isn't my bed, where the fuck am I? I got off the warm bed and headed out the room. Surprisingly the door wasn't locked. I ventured out to the rest of the apartment and glanced at the time. The time was 5:23 in angry red. Well, I might as well take a shower since I have yet to go to that forsaken place.

I entered the bathroom after 4 tries and locked the door. I started remove every article of clothing from this frail body then to my bandages. Now naked to the artificial light in the bathroom I head to the downpour in the clamp space. The scalding water attacks old and new bruises from a war I never seem to find allies or a light out. It stings in a good addicting way. I leaned against the wall, but my legs gave in and sank to the tub floor. The shower now drenched my hair and face but, that didn't stop the tears to stream from my eyes and hit the pool of water beneath me. I cried in the shower for knowing what the actual hell is wrong with me.

It's been an hour since I was in the shower and probably that person who took me in is outside the door. I turned off the artificial rain and got out. I used the towel to the left and quickly dried myself off. Clothes in one hand and bandages in the other I unlocked the door and left the area to yet again to return to the room where I slept for the night. I started to wrap the bandages onto the body before anything else. Hell, I don’t care if I’m out in the open nobody sees what my father and That girl did to me. Only himself and I. Then I quickly put my clothes on. I was putting on the last piece of the outfit that was lent to me by last me. The door was opened with such force that I started fearing for the well-being for the inanimate object.

This figure was fast and I had no reaction time to deal with it. I felt a small tap on my forehead. It didn't look serious, but I fell to the ground with a light thud. I felt my conscience easing away from me. I caught a quick look at my attacker before the darkness swarmed mt vision. Cold eyes showing no emotions, the sadist I thought. But it didn't matter now. My life was in the hands of a serial killer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its short but the next chapter is a new pov. Also I started school so during the week i can try to update it. :)


	9. Going home (part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dead eyes is now revealed and put into the mix.

I awoke to chill object placed on my forehead. My eyes wide open to see silver eyes above me. Oh hell no. You knocked me out with some type of shitty weapon and then try to fix the problem? I’m not having this shit. I bolted up and pushed my way away from my attacker. Well, that failed so badly. I scooted myself to the door, but I couldn't open the door. I was too lightheaded to attempt my escape. The male sighed and walked towards me. Great, now he wants to end it. The raven picked me up and I started to fight back. I screamed, kicked, and flailed my arms to get away.

“Calm the fuck down” Hell no. If I’m dying now, at least someone will come in and help a person out. But alas, he had a strong ass grip and my energy was depleting quite rapidly. It felt like 7 hours of fighting, but it was one-minute tops.

“Are you okay?” The silver eyes asked me, and I nodded. I was wheezing and gasping like a fish. Fuck my asthma.

“Lies. All lies.”

“I’m.... Telling... The... Truth.”

“Yeah you're fine while breathing like Stevie from Malcolm in the Middle.”

“Your... Fucked up.”

“I get that a lot.” He walked towards the couch and placed me there to sit. I realized the place was clean as hell. No, it was too clean for me. I felt like I was sitting on holy grounds. On what level does he clean at.

"Holy shit." I was dazed on how the hell you keep your apartment so fucking clean.

"What?" He asked behind me from the couch. I scooted as far away from the raven as possible. He looked agitated at me. He moves closer to me and I ran out of space to move to. I felt really drained from the little movement to get away from my attacker. My hand slipped from the couch and all the weight, I put on my arm, went towards the floor. I fell to a rather soft material. That material was whose silver eyes. I tried to crawl away, but he grabbed me and put me back on the couch. His eyes widened when he grabbed my arm.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Those cold silver eyes asked me. I was scared. I was in an unknown house (really grateful for that) with an unknown person who tried to kill me.

"You were trying to kill me earlier yah know." I leaned back in the chair. Then I laid down on the soft couch. I was too tired to keep doing this type of shit.

"And so damn brat. You're getting antsy about all of this." His body posture and face state's he bored but his voice says another emotion. 

"You hit me for Fucks sake with God knows what" 

"And you got a nice ass present right here." He taps my forehead. I touched my head and discovered a band-aid. Its moist with I don't want to know what. The raven cursed silently and walked away. There, my chance to escape. I got up but to sit back down. I tried to move my legs, but it strangely became too heavy. I'm too weak to even lift a finger. He came back with a first aid kit. He see me all sweaty and gives me a face.

"Disgusting." He gives me that and starts to clean the mess off my forehead. I rolled my eyes at him.

"What time is it?" I asked him. He glanced at the clock at the wall.

"8:19 why?" 

"I kinda need to go home." He finishes cleaning and places a new band aid on my head.

"Okay and what." 

"Can't you take me home?" He walks to the bathroom and puts the kit away then walks to the freakishly large window and takes a good look outside.

"Yeah I'll give you a lift." I silently thanked God for that. I wasn't going to walk here to my house that's a no. He walks over to the kitchen and takes out waffles from the freezer and puts it in the toaster.

"You hungr-?" 

"No" I answered a little too quickly. He turns around to look at me weirdly.

"Let me ask this again. Do you want anything to eat?"

"And I said no." Goddamnit. I just want to go home that all. I don’t need any heroes in this life full of hell. What more do you want from me? He looks at me more and then forgets it and face his Eggo's. He takes it out, puts it on a plate and the fuckingly weird part. He leaves it like what the hell. You heated the damn waffle for a reason. He grabs his jacket and puts on his shoes. I had on my sweater from last night and new warm clothes on so I'm good. 

"You ready?" He walks up to me with my sneakers and an extra helmet. What the hell? What the hell are we driving with? I received the following things. Quickly putting on my shoes and holding the oh so friggin heavy helmet I was ready to go and face hell. 

“Yeah let’s go” I get up and took four steps to him and my knees crumpled to the floor. I was determined to get to him. So I crawled my way to him. I got three feet in and I clasped on the floor. It took too much energy to get to the raven. I was gasping for the air, wheezing too and a pair of silver eyes looked at me in surprise.

“Are you sure you're okay? You look like shit. Literal shit.” 

“Yes I’m just really tired” and having an asthma attack. 

“If you puke on my floor I swear to God I will slay you charges are damn” I laughed at the statement sarcastically. I feel like emptying the contents of my stomach out on the floor but there nothing for me to puke out. I’m just empty and waiting to get home. He walks to me and picks me up. The Raven carries me to the door bridal style. He reaches the knob and opens it to a tall lady. With googly large eyes and an evenly large hipster glasses she looks at me then looks at the raven. 

“What the fuck? Levi why didn't you say you had a guest? I would of understand.” The brunette with messy hair said. 

“Later shitty-glasses. Your shit is on the counter. Don't touch my shit or I'll beat you with a centimeter to your life.”Sli- Levi said with a bored expression. Oh, so that’s what the food is for. Now that I look at it he’s so fucking short compared to shitty-glasses. She’s a skyscraper while Levi is a damn elf. Levi walks me out of the apartment and walks to the stairs.

“Are you fucking sick or something?” Levi asks me. 

“No. I can’t stand for long periods of time.” I told him the honest truth. A small piece of the large truth I hid until That time. 

“Can you walk to your house if I left you?” That’s a good question. Best one all day. 

“Probably not” We reached our destination and that’s a garage. I looked around to see no monster truck. We walk towards a motorcycle and he places me there.Wait. We are using a Kawasaki bike in this weather. If I get out of this alive I'll think about it. I put the helmet that I was holding on for dear life on my head and fits snugly around my head. 

“Where to?” The Raven asks while he mounts the bike with me on the back. I’m sure as hell I didn't want to go to home, but I have no choice. I don't Armin would want me at his house. The last thing, I need, is him worrying about me and his grandfather at the same time. I sink my head lower, leaning into Levi’s back.

“104 Shinganhina Street.” We were quiet for a short while. 

“That’s fucking far. how the hell do you get to the university then?” 

“I have a friend that drives me there. Why do you care anyway? 

“No reasons brat and don't be stupid and let go of me while driving hang on.” I glared at him. Why the hell was he calling me a brat? I push that question for later use. The short man revs up the bike and speeds away only to stop and wait for the garage doors to open. I tightly hang on to him while he speeds away to the one place I called hell. Home. Levi drove in awkward silence. It's funny how I know his name, but he doesn't know my name. We got to hell in less than ten minutes. I mounted off gave him his helmet and slowly walked to the old door.

“Wait. Get your ass over here.” The raven states but I’m already at the front door and tired. While I'm here trying to get at least to my bed, you calling me and shit is making it worse. He walks up to me with a marker in his hand. Great, now what do you want. He grabs my hand and scribbles the unknown there. I took my hand and I see a number. his number and his name. 

“Since I drove you home in the cold and saved you from last night, what the everloving fuck is your name?”

“Eren”

“Aaron?” Oh, my fucking God. Every single time. I’m getting real tired of this shit. It’s not that damn hard to say Eren. say it with me Er-en. That four letters not five Goddamnit.

“No Er-en” 

“Whatever. Call me you feel down yeah?”

“Sure when you're not trying to kill me this time.” He flips me off and walks off. The number, that's scribbled in my hand, will be stored on my phone, but I won’t call it. Like I said, I don’t need any heroes in my life. I unlocked the door to see my dad at the kitchen. Leaning on the counter with a bottle in one hand. Shit. I came too late.

“Hey where the fuck have you been for the past 12 hours.” I heard the bike speed off to the unknown. Shit. I was hoping he would stay for a little while, in case I need to run out with the diminishing energy I had. 

“I got hit in the head and I passed out for the night. he brought me here.”

“He should of hit you harder.” He told me that with hatred and venom spewing out of every word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Finaly Eren is in the mix. Now the real plot can begin


	10. Talks and Assigniments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long talks about current event. Now Hanji POV

I watched him stagger into the the house. It reeked of smoke, alcohol and ass. How the hell do you live in a house that smells like someone’s shitty garbage can. I mount my bike and put on the helmet. The extra helmet was locked to the bottom of my rear seat. I heard loud yelling eradicating from the house. Eren is probably getting yelled by his worried parent for staying out the night. I should go up there and apologize but I didn’t. I reved up my bike and droved off and away from the house. 

Thoughts were running wild in my mind. Why the hell did he look so fucking sad when I pronounced his name wrong? Does he have freaking cancer or something? Shit, he looked like Death was opening the door for him. So pale, so... weak ... with lifeless looking eyes. Somethings are hidden in those once bright eyes. Maybe somethings are better left unsaid. But with my big ass mouth and my bluntness, can and will get me nowhere. 

The bike slows to a stop and and waits for the temporary red light. That reminds me, I owe Hanji an explanation of what happen last night. I groan explosively and a male in a car looked at me. My infamous glare was shooting bullets thought my helmet and directly at the man next to me. I never seen a head and neck move so swiftly before in my life. It was comical if I wasn't thinking about how to talk to Hanji . I hope he got a fuking whiplash from it. Hate people looking at me, like did I do something to you? Shit. Green glowed from the traffic light and I went full speed to my house with new thoughts about that boy.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Remember when I said about never trusting Hanji alone in my house. I opened the door to the apartment to see everything littered everywhere. Hanji is standing in the middle of my living room eating a pop tart. I walk out of my apartment and head to Petra’s Apartment, which was two rooms away from mines. I knock her door and she immediately opens the door. 

“Petra can I see your M16?” I asked her as calmly as I can. She closes the door for a few minutes before coming back with the weapon I asked for.

“Sure, don’t kill anyone.” I gave her a look and received it.

“Ha, sure.” With that she closed her door while I walked away with the weapon. I reopened my apartment and Hanji was at the same spot. Perfect.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Hanji’s POV

I think Levi finally lost his mind. I was looking for my phone case that I left last night and I messed his place up abit. By abit I mean I fucking hellhound broke loose from hell and messed this place up. What Made it worse is that I am eating a confetti cake Pop Tart from his ‘Don’t Fucking Touch This Shit Hanji’ cabinet. I’m sorry, if you’re not going to tell me where you buy these glorious gifts from heaven then expect to be raided. I already ate the waffle from my plate that was given and I was hungry. I was about to start cleaning the mess that I made when Levi strolls in from the door. This heart thumping, stomach sinking feeling had washed over me. This was fear, poured all over my body. He looks at me, then around, then back at me and walks out casually and closing the door softly. I couldn't move anything. Not even my jaw that still has some of the forbidden food in my mouth. I stood in the middle of the place when the door opened once again and Levi walked in and locked the door. 

"Hanji." He called me calmly. This is the first time in my life I was scared shitless.

"Yeah?" My voice did me dirty. As in it squeaked and broke at the same damn time.

“What is this mess?” He asked me. I briefly saw myself blowing out candles on my ninth birthday party. Then I saw myself crying because my glasses broke at ten. Waaaait a minute... I’m getting flashbacks from my early life. That means I’m not going to last very long. 

“What mess?” I acted dumb. That was a bad move, Levi’s eyes had a crazed look and he was smiling. He never smiles, unless somebody gets hurt or a really good joke was in play.

“You're shitting me!” He laughed out loud and I joined him but instead of laughing explosively like I usually do, I was nervously chuckling to him with tears budding from my eyes .

“Are you okay o--” I paled and I feel all the blood rapidly move down to my legs. Hands in the air while eyes stare at the large object he was holding. “Levi... where did you get that?” He was holding no forget holding, pointing a large gun at me locked and ready to shoot me.

“I’m going to give you thirty minutes to clean this shit up or you'll be walking around with a head full of lead.” I never cleaned someone house this fast before. Fifteen minutes tops and up the clean freak’s standards to. He still had the psycho look all over his face. The massive gun, still looking at me. I was backed up to a corner and had his finger at the trigger.

“Sadly I don't like you that much, and you're still eating my shit.” 

“What, I’m hungry. You don't feed me enough”

“You DON'T LIVE HERE. BUY YOUR OWN SHIT.” He pulled the trigger, I screamed and.... I’m still here. What in the fuckery sqaure is this?

“Relax Zoe, its fake.” Levi’s expression was back to its bored expression and he throws the toy gun on the couch. I started to laugh long and loud to the door. I was pissed as hell, why didn't I see that coming. I unlocked to door when he called to me.

“I believe I owe you a ‘catching up’ speech but you rushing out the door and shit so there’s no need” I saunter my ass back and sat on the couch and glare at him. I spoke up.

“Go on...”

______________________________________________________

“That’s it.” I was baffled at what he had to say. It took a full hour and thirty minutes  
(with interruptions and threats) to say it. On the scale of one to even I just can’t. My mind can’t wrap around the situation he put himself in.

“You're telling me that one picture got you in this mess?”

“Exactly”

“Goddamnit Levi”

“You know what makes it worse” He sounded pissed off. I never seen the raven bitch off a problem before. It was always ‘suck it the fuck up and fix the shit.’ type of shit. As for this, he landed himself in this hole and it getting deeper. 

“Is it the fact that this ‘assignment’ is about fifty percent of your grade?”

“Seventy you mean? No. The fact that I have to do an album of creative pictures.” I gave him the ‘stop fucking around’ look. He wasn’t fazed by it. I started speaking but he cuts me off.

“As I have to do a full album of the kid”

“Soo I’m confused. You’re going to start stalking the poor guy?” He glared at me long and hard with bullets shooting at me.

“No shitty-glasses. It’s basically my final for the Goddamn class. I have to pick a shitty random person and make a creative and fuckingly cute album about the person. Make it as creative as possible. I was going to get your shitty ass to be the person but Pixis wants to be a Damn Prick and tells me the person that was in the picture-” He shows me the the still image once again. It was a graphicly vivid image. “Is my person and that I can’t switch or change this person” 

“One: You are a DAMN PRICK so no exceptions-”

“Listen here shitty-glasses-”

“TWO:did you ask this person?”

“He overheard us talking one day and the next day he give me painted paper simply telling me to fuck off. The kid you saw was that person.” I gasped at the words that came out his mouth. Funny, I know him from somewhere. but I can- got it.

“Well shit your screwed”

“No shit dipshit” Oh great, sarcasm. That’s not getting you anywhere in life midget.

“Just do the Goddamn thing. It could benefit you somewhere.” The midget gives me quick of an eyebrow, following a great sigh. 

“I suppose you're right shitty-glasses. Thank you for the shitty advice. "

"Your welcome you short prick." He had his smirk and I had the largest grin. That what made us inseparable since the age of five. Although we question our friendship sometimes. Well hell, we made it this far, let's make it last. Levi got up and treks his way to the kitchen.

"Hey Hanji you want a Pop Tart?" Oh shit. I forgot to tell him that's all gone. I got my stuff and bolted to the door. With a slam I was out, down three flights of stairs when I heard it.

"SHITTY-GLASSES" I laughed out loud to the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter is finally done. Sorry Sorry about the delay
> 
> Chapter inspired song [HeRe](www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnJNbaBmAgc)


	11. Broken Home and Armin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin enters and learns something surprising  
> the holes are now filled in

EREN

My morning are always shitty. Waking up, taking a shower, getting told off by my useless dad, skipping breakfast and heading to Armin’s car to go to college. But this particular morning was different, I wouldn't think it was that bad. 

I woke up to something crashing into my door. I hid under my covers so that he would think I wasn't in my room and left for school. It looks like it worked because he walked out of my room. Looks like I can’t take a shower today. I stick one hand out of my covers and felt for my phone. Strange, my phone is not hairy. I feel a little more. Nor does it have a face. I peeked out of my blanket and an angry parent is breaching personal space. My phone was a desk away. If I can get to it I'll be golden. My dad, on the other hand, had plans for me. 

"Where the hell were you last night?" He asked me. At this point of time, I was wide awake and alert. I push away from him, my back hitting the corner of my room and bed while I kept quiet in fear. He grabbed me by my hair so I can be eye level with him. Fear was streaming in my veins. 

"Let me go please." I started punching and kicking, but that does little to affect him. I was a light weighting person compared to my big ass father. He threw me against the wall with such strength that he made a dent in the wall. I screamed in pain as I crashed into the wall. While in my mid-air flight, I manage to get my phone from my desk without my dad knowing so score one for me. He came closer to me with balled up fists.

"ANSWER THE GODDAMN QUESTION JACKASS!" I was crawling to the door and away from him. He know the answer, but he want me to say it but I'm not getting a new bruise today. Too many people have given me looks of suspicion already including Armin. The door was shut closed and locked and I knew how screwed I was now. He closed in on me and with a swift move a hand glided through my face. With such force that I slid a foot away from where I originally sat. The explosion of pain to my right cheek was unbearable. My vision swimming with dancing black spots. Feeling the waves of conscious and unconscious. 

“st-t-top please” I pleaded but it fell on deaf ears. He berates me with stinging words and flying fist and feet. Targeting anything and everywhere in my body. I curled up into a fetal position, blocking most of his brutal kicks to my stomach. I know I get beating from my dad but never this serious. My conscious was flying away from me. The last thing, I remember seeing, is my dad picking me up from the shirt and start yelling me. The only thing, I picked up from his damn screaming, was how I was the one who let her die.

_______________________________________________________________

ARMIN

It’s 7:45, and I’m going to be late for biology class. I overslept because of the person name Eren Yeager. He’s my alarm clock SINCE freshman year of high school. Well, it’s basically him calling me to pick him up from his house at school at 6:30 and the time I woke up were 7:30. I rushed out of my bed and got to the shower. I bathed in under six minutes. Then I put on a random outfit that consist of a black button up shirt, black, white and gray cardigan, dark denim jeans and black and white Chucks. I ran from the house to my with a pop tart in my mouth and car keys in one hand and my stuff for the university on the other hand. I got in my Toyota Civic, revved up the car and drove to Eren house. 

His house was really far from the high school and the college. But it's worth it if I can see him again. We almost have the same schedule but with the exception of him having Art class and I having a free period at the end of the day. Then would I wait in my car for him so that we can go home and do nerdy stuff like homework and studying and other various things for various reasons.

I started to observe him for the last couple of months of starting this semester (as creepy as it sounds) and noticed the following things. One: he’s getting thinner than the times in high school. This was alarming to me because this was the first time I see him wearing layers of sweaters. He claims that he was cold, but it was 82 degrees on the day he wore it. Two: He always had some type of bruise located anywhere on his body. He states that he gets into fights every day other than Jean but, with the body he has now, I’m real skeptical about those fights. I was meaning to ask him about it but, never gotten the chance to.

I pulled up to his house and called his cell. No answer, great now I have to get out of my WARM car to get his ass out the damn house. I have a spare key to his house luckily. I got to the door, put the key into the hole (pause) and unlocked the door. I pushed the door open and I stared at the inside of the house. This is the first time inside the house and its pretty messy. Glass bottles of all kinds of alcohol laid everywhere. The house smelt of death and beer. What the hell is going on? I walked around and approached the man sitting on the couch in the living room. Must be Eren’s dad because he have the same He was knocked out cold and smelled of beer. Must be drunk as hell. I walked past him I’m trespassing in somebody’s house, why would would you walk up to a sleeping drunk man and say ‘hi your door was open and I was going to borrow a few things’. 

I walked through the corridors and open the first door to the left and saw the bathroom. Walking a little bit to the next door and I gasp inaudibly. It was Eren on the floor unconscious with bruises on his arms. Now everything clicks into place. Eren's dad abuses him but, for what reason. I walk back to the sleeping monster to see that he's still sleeping. Good now I can get Eren out of this house. I look in random drawers in his room and grab a T-shirt, 2 sweaters, dark denim pants and a jacket. Then look around the room I found all black chucks on the floor. Once the items have been collected, I quickly put them on Eren who is still knocked out cold. I looked at him and gasped, he's so thin. Does he have an eating disorder? 

I picked The sleeping boy up from the floor and my eyes widen. Why is he so light? That didn't matter now, what matters is getting him out the house first and waking him up. I walked out of his room with the brunet in my hands. Walking out the house without making a sound was easy. Until his drunk dad wakes up and sees me.

"Who the hell are you?" He asked me and I swore. I never swore before until now. It looks like I screwed up this time.

"This is a dream. You finally killed Eren and I as Death is taking away." I feel really dumb saying all these things. If I get out of this alive, I'm getting some damn answers.

"Thank God." That's all he says and walks to his supposed bedroom. I walk to the kitchen which was to the left of where I was standing and open the fridge. There was food alright, a shitload of it. Now that concludes that Eren has an eating disorder but, which one? Deciding that idle thoughts are wasting time I carried Eren once again to my car. Making sure that I closed and locked the door to their house, then I ran to my car and put the brunet in the front seat with the seat belt on. I got to the driver's seat where I put my seat belt on, put the keys on the jack and drove away. Five minutes of driving I heard a soft moan.

EREN

The rocking motion woke me up. The bright light blinded me for a couple of seconds. I looked to right and there was a car window. That made my alertness rise up. Where the hell am I going? I position myself to sit upright properly. When I put weight on my right hand, pain shot through me. The car came to a stop and a familiar hand came to my aid.

"Easy man." It was Armin helping me to sit right in the car. Whoa. How the hell did Armin get in my house? How the hell did I get in the car? Oh yeah, I forgot that I gave him a spare key to my house. I turned to the blond mop of hair, the usual calm and collected was red-faced and looked...very pissed

"Is there anything you want to tell me Eren Yeager?" His voice was tight. He parked the car in front of Starbucks.

"No. There is noth-"

"Bullshit Eren. I have a gist of what going on and you're going to tell me. What the hell is going on? I thought we were best friends. I thought you trust me." Great something I need. Armin knowing my "little" problem.

"I do trust you and we are the best of friends. I'm not ready to tell you yet. I'm sorry" In all seriousness I'm not. I can't deal with new people trying to fix my life. It's too great to do it. Only God or some type of shit intervenes in this life. Armin seems to get what I'm saying because he's deep in thoughts. Thinking of possible ways of solving this.

"Okay sure. But this is serious. You have to tell me sooner or later before its too late." Leave to Armin to make a promise I have to keep. 

"Fine tomorrow is fine with you?"

"Sure. Where do you want to go because I know damn well that you don't want to go to school" This is why I love Armin. He can read me like a book and is the only person to do it too. I told him the direction to my house. Not my God forsook one hell no. The one, that makes me, feel human. Armin drops me off on Dipers Ave. and waves me bye before he zips away to catch the second block class. 

I walked to the nice looking apartments that state Shiganshina Towers. I walked into the building and to the elevator. Upon entrance, I touched five on the machine. The elevator went up and with a ding I was at the desired floor I want. I walked to the door of 529. I was going to the place where I wouldn't be judged on my appearance. Where I was accepted for who I was and wouldn't push me down. I knocked on the familiar door and the exact image of me came out. The same chocolate hair, dead eyes, olive paling skin.

"Hey mom," I said with my false smile.

"Hi dear, come in," She said returning the false smile back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter had some patches I had to fill in so I did  
> Song inspired chapter [HERE](https://soundcloud.com/nachosebaz/deadmau5-raise-your-weapon)  
>  
> 
> this is my [tumblr ](cascading-colors.tumblr.com) and I track the fic


	12. Store Rage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi finally sees Eren but with a twist

LEVI

Three weeks. It's been three fucking weeks since I last saw him. Eren hasn't called me since that time too. I see him around the university occasionally, but it looks like he’s fucking avoiding me. Whenever I see him it's either “run” the other way or ignores me altogether. Like what the hell did I do? Why the hell I care anyway? Oh wait, maybe because THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM. Maybe not but its none of my business as I sip my bottle of Lipton Iced Tea in the front of my job. 

I walk into Jean walking out with Freckles. I look at the freckles with a hard stare and he returns back to the cash register. Jean pouts at me too ‘loosen up’ and I took my phone out of its pocket and shook it. The horse face looks at me grimly and walks out. One annoying person out of my life. I walk to the back to put my stuff in my locker and clock in. Then I walk back to the register and gave Freckles an item that he requested for.

“Here’s the baseball bat you wanted Freckles”

“It’s Marco and thank you so much.” He takes the bat and shakes my hand. Now I know him name so that’s a score. I swear to God he’s Jesus incarnate, he’s too nice. I saw him give at least ten dollars to a homeless man the other day. He walks away to put the bat away leaving me alone in the store. I had my Canon camera with me. I look at the lens and at the back of the camera. I held it like I was taking a picture at the door. Then he walks in. Eren Fucking Yeager walks in the damn store. 

His appearance has changed over the past three weeks. As in he wears more hoodies now. His frame is smaller, cheek bones are more defined than before and his eyes became lifeless. It's like my eyes laid upon a walking skeleton. He looks at the door then goes on his business. He repeats the process ten times. The brunet eyes are filled with fear when his eyes came in contact with someone or thing. He began to hyperventilate and starts to sway. Shit, he's having a panic attack so I run towards him before he falls over the shelf. He passed out but from what? I lifted him up and gasped softly. God he so light, what the hell happened to you I thought. I walked to the cash register and placed Eren under the counter because somebody entered the store. 

“Freckles come here real quick” He ran from the back to meet me in the front.

“You called Levi?”

“Yeah get my stuff from locker 365. There is no lock. Just get me my jacket and sweater. Go!” I whispered to him and Freckles was out. He was back in front of me in under a minute with my desired items. I took them and on them on top of sleeping boy. The freckled boy eyes widen at the brunet. I put my index finger on my lips and Freckles kept his mouth shut. He walked back to the lounge.

The customer was the same person from last time with Hanji and I. I owe the bastard a good kick in the ass for that. He gets his usual things of vodka and beer and walks to the counter. 

“I could of have sworn I saw that dumbass was here. Strange.” He slurred and that made my blood boil. I don’t like this idiot and he’s giving himself more reason to beat the ever-loving shit out of him. He does sound and look drunker than ever before. He looks around and concluded that what he was looking for is not here. I charged him twenty-three dollars when he snapped.

“Why is it so damn much? Before it was nineteen.”

“Sir-” God I hate being formal to people like him but I need this shitty job so I have to suck it the fuck up and do it “Due to prices going up and taxes we have to sell it at that price.”

“That’s not fair. I’m paying the price that I will always pay.” He hands me a twenty and I told him either to pay off the remaining three dollars of leave. Kindly. But the bastard stayed and argued with me. I do not have time for this type of bullshit. So I call Freckles to the cash register. 

“Hey do me a favor and tell our guest to fuck off the store.” The freckled boy turned to the drunken man and spoke.

“Please give pleasure to yourself while you exit the store premises. Thank you and have a great day!” Freckles did it. He fucking did it. He translated what I could of have said to him in a sickly sweet, kind, and professional way. It almost made me throw up sugar and candy of its sweetness of his voice. Freckles are now called Freckled Jesus from now on. The drunk man moved in to cap the freckled boy, but he stopped mid-way.

What I have about being at the cash register is the damn mirror behind me. This mirror is supposed to make the customer look like a complete idiot and a shame of his or herself when the person is acting out. But today its backs fires. If a person comes close to the counter they can see what’s under the cash register which is a medium sized empty space that is big enough to fit three people. It just so happens that Eren wakes up and his eyes was shown to the mirror. To the Drunken bastard's eyes which glinted in untouched rage and anger. He had a crazed smile on his face and Marcos and I took a step back. 

I look at the brunet and saw terror in his eyes and starts to breathe loudly. Great, Just great, Freckle Jesus is nowhere in sight, skeleton boy down here is having a panic attack and I’m alone with a drunk out his bastard. 

“I found you useless trash heap of a son” He sang in a sing-song tone. He threw himself at me, but I manage to keep this foul scented idiot at bay. The brunet started screaming his lungs out for three minutes tops before he passes out again. His weight is slowly but surely is getting to me. I push him off and gave him a good punch to the face. He swivels to the right before losing balance. He gets off the floor and stands. I was in front of the counter by now protecting the money in the register, the alcohol on the counter and the sleeping boy who laid on the counter. I raised my fist and stood in a fighting position, declaring war on the drunken bastard.

“We can do this the easy way or the hard way old man. You can leave the store with your life intact or you can stay here. I won’t guarantee your life for staying though” I warned him menacingly but paid no mind to the words that flowed out of my mouth.

“Shut up ya damn midget!” I cocked an eyebrow in annoyance then returned to my infamous glare. I can hear Freckles hissing a few aisles back. How the hell did he get there I have no fucking clue. “You think ya so strong and shit but you ain't. Because you are a short--” He in my face now spitting his foul smelling saliva at me. Pointing at me with his meaty index finger. “Midget bastard.” I ran to him and punched him square center hard to the face. The drunkard stumbles back but stays balanced.

He rushes to me, trying to ram me into the shelf but I was quicker than him. I took a step to the right and stuck my foot out, effectively tripping him to the side. I gave him a series of punches and kicks to keep his ass down. Feeling satisfied, I walk back to the cash register to get to my phone. The bastard wasn't knocked out and to my stupidity, I faced my back to him. He runs towards me but stops mid-way. There were a large smack and a thud. Freckled Jesus hit him with the bat I just got him. I see and know that he’s trying to help and all but that bat wasn't cheap. I walked to the unconscious man and felt for a pulse. Sadly, it's there and very strong. 

Marco helps me drags his heavy beer-bellied ass out and away from the store. By away I mean around the corner of the street. Freckled Jesus kicks him in the head to add to the damage I gave him.  


“That’s what you get you two-timing idiot!” He yell at him while we walk back.

“Freckles, Freckles, Freckles...” I put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Yeah”

“Stop. Just stop it. Leave the insults to me.” 

“Okay. What are we going to do now?”

“We close early, you go home and don’t tell a soul about this to anyone. Got it? I have to wait for somebody to pick me up.” Marco nodded as we got to the store. The Freckled Boy got his stuff and clocked out and waved a goodbye to me. I blinked at him before I text Hanji to get herself to the store now. I clocked out and cleaned the store while I wait for shitty-glasses arrival. By the time I was done she calls me that she here. I walked to the boy behind the counter and looked to see that he’s still passed out. With all the stress that just happen right now plus a full-scale panic attack, it looked like it took a toll on him. Eren was clammy, his breathing was shallow, face looks flushed, and he looked pale. I got my things ready and carried Eren out the store where Hanji was waiting inside her Toyota 2012 Civic. 

Hanji looks at me then looks at the brunet and eyes were widened.

“What the hell--”

“I’ll explain later, take him to my flat, I’ll be there in a few.” I shove the boy to Hanji. She carried him to the back seat and strapped him in. When that’s done she walks to the driver door and revved up the car. The brunette zooms passed me but not without a quick grim look she shoots me.

I was alone to my own devices. I closed and locked the gate to the store then walked to my bike where, I mounted on and revved on and drove to the corner where the bastard laid. I gave him one good look at him before I sped away to my flat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early update because I'm not going to be here for 2 weeks  
> Song Inspired chapter [here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x08-q_C7EIQ)


	13. Fate Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New people comes into the mess

Eren

I heard a loud crash that caused me to shoot up from the floor. No, I mean the couch. Wait, how the hell did I get on a couch. I gave the newly discovered area a quick look. There was a coffee table and a flat inch (50 inch the way it's looking) TV in front of me, a love-seat and a door to the left of me and a small window to the right of me. The place is freakishly clean to the extent that I can see my reflection clearly. This is Levi’s apartment all right, gleaming anywhere and everywhere. Who cares about that why the hell am I in Levi’s flat again? The loud crashed sounded closer than before. I slowly removed myself from the couch and to my hands and knees. I crawled myself to the door as quickly and without a sound. 

I was away from the couch and this lady was looking at me strangely. She had a crazed look in her face and messy hair. She was holding a large spoon in one hand a knife in the other hand. The spoon didn’t scare me oh no the knife did. I had a really bad experience with those things in high school and I’m not going to have a reunion with those memories too. We stood there for at least three minutes before I crawled to the bathroom fast. But she was faster than me, the brunette stood in front of the bathroom and closed the door. I crawled to the opposite side of the door and she was there in five seconds. I feel the anxiety creeping into my system as I slid away from her.

“HI, MY NAME IS HANJI ZOE NICE TO MEET YOU!” She screamed and I winced at the volume of her voice. This doesn’t feel comfortable at all. The cornered feeling, the drastic feeling to get away from her is overwhelming. My lungs stopped working on me. Those useless organs (well in this case they are useless, but anytime else they are great) I couldn’t breathe, I was thrashing all around the living room. Hanji wasn’t helping she was getting closer to me and that was a problem. I feel like vomiting all over this pristine apartment, but I got my bearings and quickly crawled to the bathroom. I barely got to the toilet and retch whatever contents in my stomach before the darkness took a hold of me. Remembering a slight door slam and footsteps.

Levi

“What the hell did you do?” I was pissed off at her. I can’t leave her at my apartment for five Goddamn minutes with somebody without fucking up “Why the hell was Eren passed out in my bathroom with all the components of his stomach in my toilet? Do you know how long does it take to clean that? Two fucking hours. I ain’t having this shit again.” We were in the living room with Eren lying on the sofa, Hanji in the kitchen and I was in front of her.

“Wellllll... I don’t know actually.”  
“Yes you do Shitty-Glasses” I gave her the death glare.

“Okay okay I may have triggered him into a panic attack.”

“How the hell did you do that?” It takes a Hanji to put shit like this.

“Okay so I kind of screamed at him, so what.” I was about to give Hanji an earful that she will never forget or regret hearing when I heard a creak from the sofa.

Eren

The beams of sunset awoke me from my forced darkness. I sat in a comfortable position to see that Levi and Hanji were facing me with worry. Well, Hanji was, As for Levi he looked kind of pissed and kind of bored at the same time. That some fucking skill to pull up that type shit. Only two people in the world can do it, Mikasa which was my best friend (I have no clue where she is right now, but I sure as hell want to see her) and Her.

“How are you feeling?” Hanji asked with a worry that lingers in the voice. I wasn't happy talking to her after she did the... 

“Peachy,” I told her with a smile on my face. Levi looks at me intensely. I hate it when people look at me, I feels unpleasant to feel being watched. Looking for the imperfection in the large painting.

“Seriously are you okay, this isn't a joke you know” The Raven states with all authority in his voice. I should tell them what’s up but no. I don’t need anymore people in my life, I only need Armin, that's it.

“Yes. yes I am.” I told him with a smile. It wasn't a fuckishly large grin, It was a small smile nothing more, nothing less.

“You're lying. You are NOT okay. The fact that the bastard came into MY store to beat you to oblivion was your Goddamn father does tell me you have the nicest house life. For God’s sake, you look like a twig and slowly turning into a thin sheet of paper. That alone is screaming HELP ME. or NOT OKAY. Stop hiding it, Its okay to tell us.” The lady behind him looked comically horrified and sped away to somewhere. I heard a quick shit from Levi and that was it.

“Its not any of your Goddamn business to know about my life anyway. The fact that I don’t know you makes it worse than it is.” I yelled at him. I got up from my seat and headed towards the door. 

“Hey where are you going” 

“None of your damn business.” I retorted at him raced to the door. Well, it's a quicker pace of a walk. I feel a hand on my wrist and a gasp. God, I really hate that gesture. I unlocked the door to a girl that looks painfully familiar. I look at her and she looked at me back.

“Oh my God, Eren... is that you!?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Cas here,  
> sorry this chapter took long and for my hiatus
> 
> song [hErE](https://soundcloud.com/seven-lions/seven-lions-polarized)  
> this is my [tumblr](cascading-colors.tumblr.com) feel free to leave a message and whatnot there


	14. Confesions into the Air Part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New character and Eren finally spills it off but not all

EREN

I was as shocked as she was. The jet black hair, midnight eyes, that mothering face I left behind. I walked towards her until I was in her arms. She grasps me firmly as if she was confirming that I was real in the flesh and bone.

"Oh my God it's you," she sobbed through my overused sweater. I hugged her back with all the strength that I can muster. Tears started to cascade down my face and into her jacket. I was reunited with my sister, Mikasa.

"Oh good you're here, stay with him make sure he doesn't leave this place while I get Hanji from my room." Levi called as he bolted to his room effectively destroying the moment. I can hear the eye roll from the Asian girl. She turned back to me with an enthusiastic smile. Clearly missing my appearance in the light. Hm, maybe she had changed.

"How you been, it's been three years?" She asked me. I groaned internally. I hate this question with a passion.

"Well are we are going to stand here in the doorway, or are we going to sit down and chat?" I said in a fake happy tone. She took the bait (thank God because I was getting tired off standing) and we went to sit down. Now I missed the chance of walking out the apartment, shit.

“Well are you going to answer my question?” Oh yeah, forgot about that.

“I been great actually.” I lied and put on a small smile. She looked at me and gave me a skeptical look.  
“You're lying you know that. Your ears still give it away after all these years.” I swore internally. Whatever I said about Mikasa changing was complete bullshit now. Her motherly affection has come back from what long ass vacation it was on now.

“Have you been eating, getting enough sleep, someone is messing with you?” Ugh its back in full force. Mikasa was sitting close to me and started to inspect me from head and toe. Her eyes widen in a matter of seconds. The void looks my eyes give and the fact that my arms look like snapped off twigs makes the situation worse. I move away from her by a seat and a half. Mikasa shoots me an “I am very worried about your well being” look and I knoW I am screwed over in this. Her lips started to dance to make words, but a short angry man came out to the light with the psychotic brunette in one hand. They sit down and stare at me like everything is wrong with me. 

“Finally, I’m not fucking crazy you see it too?” Levi asked her and she nodded.

“Eren what happened?” She asked me and groaned.

“Nothing is wrong with m-”

“Yes there fucking is brat-” My eyebrow shot up in annoyance. I don’t even know you and you start calling me names. Smart.”You come to my store Every. Single. Fucking. Day to buy a shit worth of shit and leave. Where does all of that shit go anyway.” I felt myself pale at what he said. So he keeps up at what I buy. Really Midget. Really.

“That's none of your Goddamned business.” I told him just like that and I got up to leave. I got up a little too quickly, causing a dizzy spell hit me hard and started to fall. Levi caught me again and carried me bridal style.

Now I was in his arms in a second and we strolled to the bathroom. 

“Levi, what are you doing?” Mikasa asked it better than I would of have said it. She got up as Hanji raced to Levi.

“To prove a point” He stated very boredly. That scared me what point are you trying to prove? I saw that the path to the bathroom was very clear. I fought with him, but he had tight ass grip on me. The door was wide open and I glanced at the machine I dread upon the most. No, he wouldn’t do that. I screamed and fought but still no avail. I was placed on the scale and he hold me in place. I had tears cascading down my face: I don’t want this. The information was displayed to the two ravens, a brunette and I. I guess that all of them are disgusted with me. I am mostly composed of skin and bones. Who would want a fucking skeleton?

“Are you happy with what you want Levi?” My voice cracked in all the wrong places and I was sobbing. The scale read in angry red numbers of 92 pounds. I felt violated, robbed of my information. The worse of all: Exposed.

“Eren...”

“OKAY OKAY, I’M NOT OKAY. P-p-please ju-ust LEAVE M-M-ME ALon....” I was sobbing way to hard at this point to form coherent words. I felt arms around my back and it was Mikasa. She looked at the angry numbers and looked away. Levi was expressionless with worried eyes. Hanji walked to the living room without a word. 

“Speak, What is it” Mikasa spoke with a tight voice.

“What, the fact that my own Goddamn father abuse me every day of my life, that I have fucking Bulimia for the past four months-” Levi's eyes widened at what I’m vomiting out. Great he now thinks that I’m a freak. “And that She haunts me in my nightmares.” I shrieked out to them. More tears fall out of my orbs and into the pristine tiles. I looked away only to Mikasa facing me again.

“She as in...” I nodded and her expression turn to rage. 

“Is She here with you” I shook my head no. Honestly I don’t know where She is. Levi comes back to reality and grabs me. 

“You can’t fix what’s broken.”

“ I hate that word. Broken means something longer able to be fixed or working. You are not broken, you just have a fuckingly large crack in you and it's very fixable.” Levi spoke through his long silence.

“How are you going to do that”

“With glue and duct tape brat.” I didn’t feel relieved about that at all. I got up from the floor and walked out with everyone with me. 

“Well this have been emotionally exhausting and I need to go home.” Mikasa said. She got her things and walked to the door but stop midway.

“Um I know that this is really random but how your twin sister.” My breathe glitched and I paled instantly. Mikasa can’t know. She can’t know that she...

“Fine. She’s fine.” Mikasa nodded and she left out the door to the unknown. Now its Levi’s turn to speak.

“There is no fucking way I’m taking you home.”

“Where else am I going to stay then”

“You can stay with me.”

“No and I will be ok. Trust me” Levi gave me a skeptical look and gave in.

“The first time I see you fucked up everywhere I’m calling the cops after I kill him charges are damned.” I smiled at that. 

“Okay. Deal” I said as we head to the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took too long I had a writer block  
> Song posted below is recommended for this chapter  
> song inspried chapter here


	15. Little Chats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren have a chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow an early update

LEVI

Its been a day since I last saw Eren. I’m currently working on Christmas Eve in a cold ass store. The time is now seven o’three and a customer walks in. Since I basically don’t give a fuck I was playing Flappy Bird on my phone. What I don’t understand that game from hell is that how the hell is the player helping you to “fly”. Can’t you magically grow some damn wings and fly by your own damn self? My highest was a 387 and I am having a burning passion for beating Hanji’s of 502. Twenty rounds in five minutes with one of them with the new high of 501. I hate this game with a passion.

“I can beat that in my sleep.” Oh great, a gamer and a cocky one too.

“I don’t give a shit of what you can do in your sleep, fucker” 

“Wow I feel hurt” I looked up to see who the hell is this person so I can blaze the shit out them. Tragically it was Eren. He waved a hand a me to greet a hello.

“Hi Brat” I see an eyebrow perk up. Ooh, he annoyed. I looked at the items on the counter then I look at him.

“You can’t keep this going you know. You need help”

“Why I have nothing else to do.”

“What do you do?”

“Eat and--”

“OTHER than that jeez”

“Draw, study with Armin, avoid Randy and that's about it” This kid had no social life. Also who the hell is Randy

“Let me help you with your problem.”

“Which one?” This question scared me because just how many issues do you have.

“Your Eating Disorder first then your other damn problems”

“How the hell can you help me with that?” Yes, he's letting in the first wall of whatever the hell he built up.

“Start an album with me.”

“Does this have to do with Pixis giving to this assignment?” Well, that was fast.

“So” 

“No I am not a marquin. I --”

“Not all is going to be you. Damnit you're just posing. Nothing more or less.” 

“But wait how the hell is this going to help my ‘problem’” Damn he got me there. I cursed at his stubbornness. Gears started to work in my head before I came to the conclusion.

“I’m keeping a watch of your weight and what you eat jackass”

“Okay I do your shitty idea a go.”

“Hey fuck you it’s not mine and this starts now. Put those shit back except the bag of chips.” He groaned but complied witch was a good thing.Eren paid for the items I requested. He was starting to walk out until I called out to him.

“You still have my number?”

“Yes”

“Text me when you get home. Can you get home?” he shook his head. Looks like I’m taking home again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter inspired song [here](https://soundcloud.com/spinninrecords/audien-elysium-original-mix)


	16. Extend to Beyond to Levi's Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi spends a day With Eren on his birthday  
> Trigger warning for Anorexia and Bulima

LEVI

I was woken by my alarm which made me get up. Automatically my hand makes a fist and slams down on the offending object. It was still ringing. What the fuck is that? I looked at my phone, nope it's not ringing. I start to realize that it was coming from outside my room. I groan loudly because I want to fucking sleep. I got up put my glasses on and walk out of my warm room. The noise was coming out of my apartment. I swear to God if Oluo doesn't shut his alarm I’m will personally and aggressively do it for him. I did it once and I will do it again. I opened the door and Hanji jumped on me which made me lose my balance.

“Fucking Hanji. Do you know the fucking time is” I questioned her. My infamous glare was on and Hanji didn’t care.

“SIX LE-LE

“SHITTY FUCKING GLASSES, I’M TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE WAKING ME UP AT THIS FUCKING HOUR!”

“HANJI FUCKING ZOE WHO ELSE!”

“WHY ARE WE FUCKING YELLING IN THE HALLWAY!” I asked a good question

“CUZ ITS YOUR DAMN BIRTHDAY!” I took out my buzzing phone and turned it on. Five messages unread glared angrily at me. The date said the 25th of December. Surprising, I manage to survive 22 years in this cruel world. That’s a fucking accomplishment right there and that calls for a fucking celebration. I hauled Shitty Glasses into my apartment because it's cold as balls out there. I felt giddy as hell and started to jump around with Shitty Glasses. She gave me a confused/scared face. I had a wide ass grin on and finally get go of Shitty Glasses.

“You are too giddy this morning.” 

“I have my reasons so What did you get me?” With that, Hanji ran to the guest room and comes back with a shit ton of presents. She is taking hella trips to get all into the living room. Where the hell did she get all the money this shit is a mystery? I turned on my phone and went through messages. It's the usual ‘Happy Birthday’ or ‘HBD’ messages. There was a missed call from an unknown number so I decide to text the person in the ass crack of dawn because hell if I'm awake then you're awake.

Levi 6:26 AM

Hey who the hell is this

I was thinking that the person went back to sleep, but a ding on my phone indicated a message was received

Unknown 6:27 AM

Who the hell is this???

Levi 6:27 AM

I asked you the Goddamn question first. You called so I decide to text this shitty number so who the fuck is this?

Unknown 6:28 AM

First off I'm Eren the person who you gave your number to and what do u want at 6:92 in the damn morning

I looked at my phone and looked at it again with a sneer painted on my face. This brat really did some stupid shit right here. I quickly saved his name and contact to my phone and replied

Levi 6:29 AM

With this I can conclude that you are a fucking dumbass. What the hell is 6:92 Brat

Eren 6:30 AM

Cut me some slack I only have 1 contact on

Levi 6:30 AM

Why the hell do you have 1 contact on anyway? Do you sleep with it on or your dumbass forgot?

There was no reply from Eren. Probably looking for his other contact. While I was waiting for him to reply I started to open some of my presents. 

“Who are you texting? From what I know you don’t text. At all.” Shitty Glasses said and I rolled my eyes.

“Well to only to you.” I retorted and she gives me a look. The first five gift were cleaning supplies. Wow, real original Hanji. The next five were outfits. There were three oversized shirts that kiss the floor and the rest were my size.There were at least fifteen of them left and I open ten in less than twenty minutes. I gave her a look of thanks before continuing to unwrap presents. There was a ding on my phone and I immediately picked it up and it was from Eren.

Eren 6:49 AM

You woke me up and I thought I put both of them on?

Levi 6:50 AM

How the hell are you not sure about putting on your damn contact?

Eren 6:50 AM

Because i'm not sure da fuck

This sassy ass motherfucker...

Levi 6:51 AM

Im coming over to kick your motherfucking sassy ass

Eren 6:51 AM

You wouldn't... -_-

Levi 6:52 AM

Watch me...

With that, I ended the conversation and got up to take a shower. Then I forgot that 1) Hanji in my flat and 2) She's probably hungry. I was feeling generous and I yelled out to her. “YO Shitty Glasses, there’s Pop tarts in the cabinet. I restocked so you have as much as you want.” She became a blur of a body and ran to the kitchen to eat the pastry I recently brought. This was a large thank you for the presents. 

I proceeded to take a long ass shower and other hygienic things. I got out the bathroom with a towel around my waist and hurried to my room to quickly put on my contacts and underwear. I put on my navy constellation button up shirt with a gold chain hanging loosely around my neck with black skin hugging jeans with a silver jean chain and black vans. I put on my black leather jacket to complete the look and carried my helmet from the room and locked the door. I walked past an eating Hanji.

“Where are you going?” She asked me.

“I’m going to kick a brat down a size.” I said. She squeals at me. Ew I hate squealing.

“AWW YOU FOUND LOVE” She bellows 

“Da fuck no.”

“There is no need to lie and don’t forget your camera.” 

“Right and don’t burn my house down for the last time Shitty-Glasses” I yelled while picking up the said object and shut the door behind me. I sped my ass down the stairs and to the garage where I parked my bike. I looked down and saw the helmet was still there and I said a silent ‘thank God’ I mounted the bike, put the headgear on, revved it up and sped away to a certain brat house.

Took me about ten minutes, but I arrived at the brat’s house. I parked at the house because that side of the street was getting cleaned today. I dismount the bike, took off the helmet and placed it on the bike, and walked casually to the house door. Once I was there I knocked the old door but no one answered. So I twisted the doorknob opened to door. 

I walked into the house after I closed the door quietly and strolled around the dirty house. Empty beer bottles laid on the floor as I tried to maneuver through the floor. To my right, was the drunken bastard on the couch. As much as I would love to beat him in again, I chose not because that's not my main objection. I walked up the stairs without a sound and proceed to look for the brat. There were five main rooms when I got up. The first one on the right was clearly the bathroom and I walked speedily away. But I walked back and put my ear to the door and heard sounds of retching. I open the door and saw the boy gripping the toilet seat as he emptied the contents of his stomach. 

“What the hell...” I murmured and Eren’s head swiftly moved in my direction with wide, comical eyes. His eyes baffled me the most. He had two different colored eyes. The left had a teal color and the right had an amber color. I looked at him and he looked at me then starts crying. He flushes the toilet and runs to his room and slams the door. I follow him to his room. I walked into his room to find a heap of limbs on the bed. The boy was shuttering. I stumbled across something personal by accident. 

I heard footsteps so I ran my way to the closet and close the door. The main door was open violently which left a dent in the wall. There was a box in the closet so I fit myself and closed the top of the box just in case drunk bearded bastard wants to be nosey. I listen to the conversation at bay.

"Who the hell is here dumbass" the bastard said.

"There is no one--" There were a loud clap and a bang. I winced at the sound. I would love to kick his face in but that would make Eren situation worse. 

"I heard fucking footsteps from the bathroom. Where the fuck is the person?" The closet door was swung open. Thank God that I sat in the box. I heard a grunt and the door was swung shut. I waited about five minutes before coming out because he can play a trap. I heard a frustrated sigh and footsteps walking to the door, opening it and then closing it again. I knew it was safe because Eren was in the closet looking for me. I popped a head out of the box to see a purple bruise on his left cheek. There were fresh tears on his face. He crawled to sit right next to me. 

"I thought you was kidding about coming over." I rolled my eyes but kept a snarky comment from rolling out of my tongue. 

“Look I didn’t mean for this to happen...” I whispered to him. But that was drained out by the silent sobs that leaked. I made him cry and I feel like a dick. So I whispered to him. “Do you want to get out the house. He nods furiously with water flowing out his mixed colored oceans. I open the box I was in quietly and got out. Eren got out of the closet and went out to the bathroom. Within a few seconds, the shower came to life. I sat there on the bed as wait for the brat.

It took at least ten minutes and he's out. Eren comes into the room with a towel hanging from his chest. I gave him a confused look but didn't question it. Probably hiding something and doesn't want me to know. He gets the clothes I laid out on the drawer and an underwear. He walks out but to return with clothes on. Eren starts to fish in his drawer and collects a contact case, where he immediately puts on the right teal contact. 

He was wearing dark skinny jeans with a light button up jean shirt with sky blue and white converses. I looked in his closet for a jacket and with success, I got a leather jacket and gave it to him. 

"You should comb your mop of a hair." I whispered as I walk out the room. 

"There is no need. It stays as it is." He said. He put a hand through his hair and pushed it down. It went back to it original state. I gave up on the subject of hair. We walked down the stair and drunkie wasn't on the couch. We quicken our pace and before you know it, we were out the house. Eren had a sigh of relief. We got to the bike and mounted on after giving him a helmet. I revved up the bike and sped away to the unknown.

We stopped at an old park in front of the high school I used to go. 

"Why are we here?" Eren asked me and I showed him my camera. He groaned and I flipped him off with no malice. I got off and led him to the swings. A great place to talk about everything and anything. We got there and sat on the swings. I broke the five minutes of silence.

"Look, I'm sorry about earlier. I should've called or texted you" 

"It fine I thought you weren't serious about coming over” I gave him a bored look and began swing.

“I keep my words.” I said. I swung higher than before. Close enough to have my feet touch the gray stricken sky. 

“Don’t tell anyone about my eyes, please.” He gave me a pleading look and I nodded.

I looked at him. “Can I know what the hell is happening in your life or too personal?” I asked because the curiosity is killing me at this point. 

“I can tell you some of it.“ I nodded for him to continue. “It started when I was ten, parent got into a huge fight over money. My dad, or Grisha was using our money for alcohol and cigarettes. My mom got pissed off because he started using our college fund to support his needs. He was fired from his high-paying job as a surgeon because he was drunk while doing an important kidney surgery.” He started to chuckle before starting again “His license was taken away from him. That's how he became that useless heap of a person. He couldn’t even remember that I have asthma and the fact that I have an asthma attack every night to this day because of him.” My eyes widen at the new information. “My mother broke it off with him and lived in an apartment not far from your place Levi.” He avoided the question, oh well at least his mood was better than earlier.

I looked at him and stared in awe.the damn brat was swinging higher than me. It was getting frightening by the second. My dumbass decides to take a picture of it. I took out my camera and started to steady the focus while both hands off the chains.

“What are you doing?” I looked at him and held the camera up high for him to see. Eren rolled his eyes but smiled at the camera. “Careful damn it, your fly off the damn swing.” Eren yelled but I didn’t care and I flipped him off. He huffed out.

The camera finally focuses on a crystal clear image. I captured the moment, Eren soaring on the swing with a small smile. My ass left the swing and I crashed to the floor with a thud back first protecting the expensive ass camera. I winced in pain and a crackle of laughter erupted from the boy on the swings. I flipped him off for the second time and that caused his to laugh harder. 

Eren’s swing reached the peak and the boy flew off. I had the audacity to take a photo of him in mid air. It was a great picture, by the way. His few seconds of grace turned into few seconds to the Earth. Suddenly the camera didn’t seem that expensive anymore. I threw the camera and ran to the falling brat. Catching him with only a to spare. I had an enough for today and call it a day.

“Come one brat we’re going to my place for a while.” I told him as I walked to get my camera. Thank fuck the lens didn’t break.

“Sure.” Cascade started to play on my phone. I looked at the caller ID. It was Hanji, this couldn’t be good. I picked up the phone and I heard sirens from the other end. I am going to murder Hanji.

EREN

Levi’s weird ass ringtone blared out and he picks it up. He cringes at the caller ID before answering the piece of plastic. I was away from him but can hear Levi from where I was.

“I want you to repeat what you just said”.... “YOU WHAT!?”... “HANJI I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!”... “SO... BY THE TIME, THE POLICE ARE THERE, THEY ARE GOING TO TAKE AWAY ME AND A BODY”... “BECAUSE OF FUCKING MURDERING YOU ” Levi looks like a damn cherry from all the yelling at the phone. He hangs up shoves the phone angrily into his jacket pocket then walks towards me where he proceeds to pick me up bridal style. I can feel the intensity of his eyes as he led me to his bike. He places me gently and slips on my helmet. Then puts his on and gets on.

“Levi, what’s going on? Did something happened?” I questioned him

“I’m going to murder her when I get there. Hang tightly cuz I’m speeding.” He tells told me. I squeezed as tightly as I can we zoomed off with alarming speeds.

We were there in five minutes flat. I gave him my helmet and the Raven puts it under the motorcycle. He yet again carries me bridal style and runs to the elevator. I felt like I was on fucking cheetah because it was just that fast. We got to the elevator and jams his finger on the four then on the close door rapidly. We got out of the space and the both of us gasped. The fireman was walking out of Levi’s flat with his gear. Levi’s door and edges were charred with what used to be a fire. I looked at Levi, he was calm with anger eradicating from him. He walks us to the door where he gives a loud huff of frustration. He puts me down and starts to pace around.

“I’m going to kill her when I see her.” Levi says it repeatedly

“We can look inside to see the extent of what happen?” Levi looks at me and runs to the door with me behind. He twisted the burnt door open and streamers danced out of the burned room and into Levi’s hair where they laid peacefully.

“SURPRISE LEVI HAPPY BIRTHDAY” Their screams eradicated from supposedly burned flat. Ho shit his place is haunted get the Ghostbusters/priest/exorcist or whatever the hell its called. Wait, its Levi’s birthday? The raven looks just as shocked as me. A familiar looking brunette ghost pops out and hugs the raven. Since I'm a nosey little shit I listened to the chats at bay.

“So the fire?” Levi states

“Never happened.”

“But my door...” a large man, and a blonde girl pops out of the flat

“Mike and Nanaba specialty is effects.” Hanji said with excitement.

“Then who the hell was the fireman?” He

“That was Gunther” On cue the said man walks up and removes the mask. Levi walks up to them and gives them a large hug. Effective group hug for someone his size.

“I hate you all, but thanks” He states as he walks in with them. I was left in the dark as usual and started to walk away until Levi jogs back to me.

“Where do you think you're going?” He asked me and I shrugged at him. Honestly, I have a clue where I was going. “I didn’t go over 150 miles per hour to my flat then bringing you here bridal style to the fourth floor on an elevator for nothing.” He grabs my hand and my face felt warm. “Party with me you shitty brat” I rolled my eyes before walking with me toward the door. There were hella people here, I saw Armin here and I rushed towards him leaving Levi behind. I hugged the shit out of the blond boy and he reciprocated it back.

“Eren, you know Levi?” he asked me.

“For a few months why?” Armin shakes his head.

“You never told me,” I swore internally but decided it play the dumb game.

“Told you what?”

“What’s wrong with you.” He whispers in my ear. I really didn’t want to talk about this. Not here not now. I mouthed the word later and gestured to sit on the couch and the blond nodded. I was about to say something, but I was interrupted by a loud bang and everyone quieted down. I twisted my head to see Levi standing on the chair. I chortled at the Raven and sent bullets via eye glare at me, but it evolved to a fit of laughter which lasted for a minute because it became coughing fit. Armin brought me water and patted my back. After I looked okay, he turned his gaze to the party.

“This is my house, therefore, my rules, No shitting in my bathroom or you're cleaning that shit yourself. No sex anywhere unless you're willing to buy new bed sheets and a fucking mattress for me and finally don’t make a fucking mess or your asses are mines till this place is FUCKING clean. Everyone fucking got it?” The Raven yelled and there was clutter of yeah's. He got off and strolled to the unknown. I started to look for him with Armin until I bumped into a tall individual.

“Hey, who let him in?” Some random guy in the party. I looked at him and recognized him as Randy Madison. A guy that never learned to leave me alone since I came here in senior year. I rolled my eyes and sat down because of a wave of nausea fit me with full force. I hadn’t eaten since this morning. So I would feel this dizzy did this before. ”What’s the matter, you fat fuck you can’t stand?” He taunts me. Honestly I became numb to the truth, I was indeed a fat fuck, therefore I purge myself to become the ideal type, a skeleton.

“Hey, leave him alone Randy.” Armin pitches in but gets shut down by his glare.

“Shut the fuck up, you blonde coconut,” Randy said and he looks back at me.

“Randy, leave me alone, please. It's Christmas, can’t we be jolly today?” I told him and he grabs me by the shirt and raised my frail body up about a feet.

“I don’t give a fuck what you want. I want you-” He shakes me violently for a few seconds. I felt a dull pain blossoming to headache coming from the back of my head.”To walk out of this party.”

“And do what?” Woah, looks like we have a badass in the house.

“The fuck you mean ‘and do what’,” He said and on cue a fist connected with his cheek which effectively brought him down with me. Randy land completely on me and I felt the air knocked out of me, but I’m still wide awake (funny the song Wide Awake was playing too). The body was removed from me and I painfully inhaled.

“Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to- Eren!?” Well how awkward can this get. Jean, my ex, saved me from Randy...

LEVI

I for once was truly happy. I was walking to my kitchen getting various food from the platter. I cringed at one of the platter. It was fucking shrimp. If you think it was some type of joke giving me shrimp, I will personally beat the shit out of you with a fire extinguisher. I’m not allergic to shrimp but I strongly hate it. I am severely allergic to milk though. That’s was why I was able to get 50 grand from Starbucks for giving me the wrong order. I order black coffee not tea with cream. I got a beer from the fridge and started to walk away but a strong hand placed itself on my shoulder. I looked behind me and my eyes widen in horror.

“Levi can we talk, please?” It was Erwin in the flesh. I tried to walk away bu this hand is freakishly large and heavy. Ironic that this particular song starts to play in this situation.

“Why, you already destroyed that concept.”

“Destroyed what? Levi what happen to you?” My blood boiled in rage,was he that stupid?

“Don’t you mean what happen to you!? Erwin, you became fucking cold to me for no apparent reason while I was dating you.” I was yell at this point.

“What the hell are you talking about, I was treating you with every inch of respect.” My eyes widen at the bullshit that was flungged at me. I went to the counter where I climbed to the cabinet and open it. I proceeded to pull out a old box from the top self. I got off from the counter and began to open the box where there was a stash of envelopes tied neatly with a old string.

“Oh yeah, explain this ‘respect’ thing to me” I threw the stack of envelopes at him. The blond picked one of them up and began to read. He looked speechless.

“I didn’t write these.”

“I don’t care what you did, I still remember the disgusted looked you gave me when you walked away from me that day”

“Levi, please listen this isn’t my hand writing”

“But you signed the Goddamn thing!” I was at the point of actually beating the absolute shit out of him and go to jail for it but I have to remember one thing: There is no netflix in prison “I would like to kick you out of my party but that’s me being immature so enjoy the Goddamn party asshat.” I started clean the mess of papers and put it back in the box. With the box in one hand I walked out of the kitchen when he called out to me.

“What changed you Levi?” I looked backed to him with angry glare and told him.

“You changed me” I walked out of the kitchen. I made a quick dash to my room to put the box in my closet. Then I came out and started to I look for signs for a mop of chocolate hair and spotted him. Eren looked half awake through the whole conversation with Jean and Armin. I walked towards with a stoic face .

“Hey” I said boredly. Armin and Jean looked up and waved at me. Eren jerked up from whatever nap he was taking. The blond gives me a worried look and walks away with Jean. I sit besides Eren who starts to doze off again. “You look tired.” I told him bluntly. His dull eyes opens in exhaustion for a mere ten seconds to see who talking. He sees me and closes his eyes once again.

“I am actually.” He speaks quietly.

“Do you want me to take you home?” I asked him and he slightly shakes his head before he speaks again.

“No, I don’t want to ruin your party your friends threw for you.”

“Bullshit, Eren you look and sound tired you might as well go home.”

“But I want to stay-” He jerks his head up. “Damn, I can never stay up for more than eight to nine hours before passing out.” There are bells ringing too loud because of what was just said. I feel thankful for the loud dance music blaring out of my speakers. If anyone was to hear what we are talking about it wouldn’t look really good at all.

“Did you eat anything here?” The brunet barely nods. “Are you sure?” I asked him again with a skeptical tone. He started to look guilty at his hands

“I did a few hours ago but felt really bad about eating so..”Eren voice was drowned by the sudden drop of a song but I knew what he meant. He looked down at his finger in gult. My face soften and I laid my hand on his shoulder.

“Do you want to sleep here for tonight?” I honestly don’t want to talk about his eating habits here at a party because it awkward and he looks really bad about it.

“Yes please”

“Can you change your clothes?” He nodded. I stood up picked him up bridal style for the fifth time and walked to my bedroom. The music stops and I hear a loud girl from the distance.

“THAT’S MY MIDGET” Hanji yells and there was applauding from everyone and some woo's in the corner. It was a good thing that 1) Eren passed out and 2) I was holding him because I would have killed Hanji right there.

“You all are assholes” I yelled out

“We should be telling you that” Everyone said in unity. I gave a loud tch and everyone started laughing. The music was back and I took it as cue to get to my room with the sleeping boy.It was great because no one was in my room. I woke the brunet up and gave him a large tee shirt. I walked out of the room so that he can have some privacy to change.

“Merry Christmas Eren” I mumbled as I closed the door to reenter the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its my birthday (well was [it was the 23rd]) so why not. this is my present to you
> 
> Edit: I feel like an idiot I posted only half of it im sorry. I may add a chapter today 
> 
> Song is [Worlds Apart by Seven Lions feat. Kerli](https://soundcloud.com/ultrarecords/seven-lions-kerli-worlds-apart) and  
> [Broken by Xenia Ghali feat. Katt Rockell](https://soundcloud.com/xeniaghali/broken-xenia-ghali-feat-katt-rockell)


	17. Mornings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after the party with Levi and Eren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well it is Eren's birthday so why not... hehehe

Eren

When I woke up today, it felt like I haven't slept in years. I hate feeling this way. I was wide awake but I was still tired and I can't fall back to that peaceful bliss of the dream I can no longer remember. I tossed and turned in the soft bed but still had the restless feeling around my eyes. I sat up and took a look around. It looks like I was still in Levi's house and I fell asleep on his bed. It also looks like I managed to change clothes. I took out my phone from beside me and read the time. It was 10:21. Well, I might as well get out of the bed and try to go home. 

I carefully removed the thick blanket from my legs. With one foot after the other, I successfully got off the bed I walked to the mirror and stood. I started to look around to see a scale anywhere in his room but alas there was none. So I took off my shirt to see how much of a fat pig I am. I pinched the raw skin on my side and pulled on it. I gasped but not so loud to wake Levi up. Tears started to bud. I gained weight last night. I look at my stomach where the words ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ are carved there. The worse of it was all over my back. But I won’t get into that. 

I put back on the oversized shirt that touches my knees walked to the door and left the bedroom. The oversized shirt I was wearing probably wouldn't fit Levi if he tried it on. I was hoping that Levi was still sleeping when I came out.

"Morning, brat." The voice that I was avoiding spoke. I looked up and Levi was watching TV. 

"Hi," I said. 

"Look its.-" he looks at his phone before continuing,"10:28 do you want to stay till eleven or leave now. I washed your clothes and they're on the--" 

I wasn't listening or paying attention to him. The overwhelming pain in my stomach was starting to make me feel lightheaded. Its been awhile since I felt like this. By awhile I mean junior year of high school.

"Hey, are you okay?" I started to fall backward. My hands desperately tried to grab anything to steady myself. I slammed my back to the wall, but I slid down and placed myself in a fetal position. Levi was next to me in a matter of seconds, checking for anything that seems off to him. 

"Eren, Eren what's wrong?" Levi asked worriedly. It took a few seconds to realize what's going on, and it must of have clicked in Levi's mind because of the sudden realization on his face.

"Did you eat at all yesterday?" Levi asked me.

"I don't remember," I said weakly as I tried to recall last night. "I did, but I did the thing a few minutes after.” Levi's face relaxed and gave a sigh of relief.

"Its hunger pain, come on, you need to eat something" I cringed, but he didn't catch it. The raven rose up and help me up, but I couldn't focus the room enough to grab his hand. After seven tries, I finally found his hand. He pulled me up slowly and I was up to my feet. He offered to carry me, but I shooed him off. I took the first ten steps to the island. My destination was in sight, it was about five more steps. My legs started to wobble obviously at their limit, but I pushed forward while the raven lingered behind me. Finishing the last steps I got to the stool and struggled to get on. Levi sighs and gently puts me on the stool where I placed my head on the tables.

“I’m giving you waffles to eat,” he said 

“I can’t eat that”

“Why can’t you” the raven sits across from me with a hand on his chin with a plate of waffles in front of him.

“I’m allergic”

“To what?”

“Everything”

“Goddamnit Eren, please,” Levi said with concern. I groan internally. Why, why here. 

“Why now, It’s obvious that I’m not hungry” On cue my stomach growls and I silently cursed myself. The raven looks at me skeptically and pushes the plate to me. I looked at it like it was the most foreign thing it the flat. 

“Eat it,” Levi said and left the kitchen. I was all alone here, well, with a pair of waffles. I looked at it again and looked around. He was nowhere in sight. Then I heard the shower switch on. It sounds like that he taking a shower. This gives me the perfect opportunity to throw the calorie pack food away. 

I got up with the plate and walked to the trash can. I hovered the food over the trash can. Levi’s disappointed face popped up in my mind. I felt the instant dread and guilt build up. Why do I feel like this? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I throw this shitty food away? I felt dizzy for standing up for so long so I walked back to the island and sat myself down with the plate. 

I gave it a mean look then I sighed. I might as well. I took a bite out of the waffle. Then one bite became two and before I knew it the plate was empty. I felt sickeningly full of the mere breakfast I had. I heard a loud applause behind me. My neck has never moved that fast in my entire life. Levi’s unamused face looked at me. His hair was dripping wet, fuck that he was dripping wet from head to toe. 

“Levi, what the fuck?” I said and he fucking shrugs like nothing happened. I gave him a confused look and he raised his eyebrows. I don’t know what hell he’s doing but, he’s confusing the shit out of me.

“Your clothes are in the guest room. Go change so I can drop you home.” With that, he walks off. I put the plate in the sink and went to the said room and put on my clothes on. I took my time doing that. When I was ready I walked out to see that Levi was already dressed and was waiting for me.

“Took you long enough Dead Eyes” The raven deadpans and I rolled my eyes. From the word of him, my eyes still look lifeless to him.

“And so, are we going or what?” I asked and he opens the door leads the way. I follow him while closing the door behind me. The raven makes me hold his helmet as we take the elevator down to the garage. It took Levi seconds to find his bike. When he got there he takes a helmet from his bike from below and gives it to me. Then he mounts on and signals me to get on so I did. The raven revved up the bike and sped out of the garage door.

We get to my house slower than usual. He trying to prolong my way to my dreaded house. So when we stop in front of my house I hopped off and gave him borrowed helmet. 

“Hey um, thank you for last night and this morning.” I said and he nodded. I started to walk away from him and to the place I dreaded to most when he grabbed my wrist. I look to him in more confuse that I had this morning.

“Um do you want to go to a New Years Eve's party with me?” He asks and my cheek heated up. I felt a blush blossom all over my face. What the hell is wrong with me? I feel like a high school girl right now. Are my emotions playing with me?

“Y-yeah sure. What time?”

“Around five. Be ready by four fifty-five.”

“Okay. I’ll see you around then.” Levi nods and dismounts to put the extra helmet back where it came from and remounts. I walked away from him enter the house. I hear his bike zooms away as I walk to my room. Thank God that my ‘dad’ was knocked out on the couch. I enter and closed my door and flop down on my bed. The past ten minutes replayed in my mind and my face heated up for the last time today as my mind screamed out:

What the hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sorry for not writing in a while, writer's block is a pain in the a$$ I s2G  
> If the chapter numbers look low it because I did some maintenance on it 
> 
> The name of this song inspired chapter is called [Kaleidoscope by Knife Party](https://soundcloud.com/knifepartyinc/knife-party-kaleidoscope?in=knifepartyinc/sets/knife-party-abandon-ship%22)


	18. Planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi plans for things with Hanji

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its finally here

LEVI

 

"Aren't you severely allergic to milk?" Hanji asked with genuine curiosity. I rolled my eyes and walk towards her and grabbed the almost empty box of the said cookies.

"Its made with soy milk, shitty-glasses." I said. “But that’s not the point here.” At this point of time Hanji had a confused look on her face. I sat down at the edge of the couch where Hanji was sitting and she turns to me, giving her now undivided attention to me after taking my box of cookies away from me.

“Hanji, I need your help.” I said to the brunette who is currently eating my only pack of Oreo's.

“You, Leviticus Rivaille Ackerman,--” She points to me then continues. “is asking me--” Now she points to herself “for help? Do you know long I yearned for this moment? I feel tears joy coming along.” She starts to take off her glasses and begins to fan herself with her hand. I rolled my eyes at her and proceeded to glare and point a finger at her shakily

“First of all, don’t ever in your life say my full name again--” She smirks and rolls her eyes. ”Second of all, you are being dramatic with this bullshit."

"But you are asking me for help for the first time in your life, why wouldn't I be dramatic?”

“Because you’re Hanji Fucking Zoe?”

“Of course. Now state your needs, Leviticus!" She yells. I ‘gently’ connected my fist to her arm. While she hisses in pain, I gave a smirk of satisfaction.

“One, I’m throwing a new year eve party--”   
“Say no more! Just tell me the location, how much people is needed, and the entry fee. Shit, leave everything to me.” I look at her skeptically. 

“How the fuck are you going to do that in two days?” 

“Never question my ways. I just do things. Like the time I got the limited edition box set of Porter Robinson's Worlds album the day it came out.” It's strange how Hanji is... Hanji. She capable of doing shit that is deem impossible. She both a blessing and a curse to me. “Is this party happening because you ask a certain someone out?” She asked. 

“Is it your damn business?” I countered

“It is because who is helping you with the party?” Shit. She has a point one that.

“Fuck you.” I turn my head away from her to say this one line. “Yes. How the fuck did you know that?” I asked her. She has a shit-eating grin on.

“I didn’t” SHIT. “AWWW Leviticus has a crush. That’s is too cute.” She boops my nose. I slap her hand away from my face. “So what’s the second one then.”

“I don’t need to tell you because we are going out.” I said as I get up and walk towards the door. I grab my keys and my helmet from the stand. Hanji gets up and follows me out the door. “Are you taking your car or are you taking a ride with me.”

“I’ll ride with you. Um, where are we going?” She asks as she shuts my door behind her. By the way she asked, she seems greatly confused.

“We are going to the place for the party.” I said as we walk towards the elevator.

\-----______-----_____------______------_______-------_______-----_______-------_______-------

 

“Levi what the fuck?” 

“Are you talking about the text message or the location?”

“Both, how the hell did you find this beauty?” Hanji points to the large abandon Manson. Her face has the perfect what the hell. I would of taken a picture hold the fuck up. I take my phone and with a snap her perfect face is a picture. She gives me the “are you kidding me” face. I counter with the “it was a good picture” face.

“Its at least fifteen miles away from the city. So no annoying knocks of the police anytime soon. The energy is still on so do whatever the hell you want with it. Also there are hella rooms and the view is amazing.” I ramble on but Hanji walked in the mansion. The inside was littered with graffiti. It was basically heaven to artists, photographers, and skateboarders.

“Why is it so clean?”

“That’s a really stupid question, Hanji. Why wouldn’t it be?” We traveled upstairs to the various rooms. Then to the roof, the scenery is so good that I call it porn. Hanji mouth was agape with the sight.

“Close your mouth, or you’ll choke on a fly or some shit.” 

“How the hell did you into this place stumble into this place?” Hanji asked in shock. I smirked

“When you are a shitty photographer with limitation, you find things” I simply put it to her. Shitty-Glasses spreads her hands while her eyes widens comically. I only nod. She did the same gesture to the sky. I nod again. She points at me with a ‘What-the-Fuck” look and I nod.

“Levi, I don’t understand you sometimes” 

“Good. I’m heading my ass home. I’m fucking freezing.” I said. I start to walk to door when I hear a ‘wait for me’. I stood there while Hanji runs up to me to leave.

___-----_____------____-----_____-----_____-----_____-----___----___---____-_-______------____

EREN

“What the fuck happen to the food?” I snapped awake to the sound of my dad. I checked my phone of see the time. It reads six forty-five A.M. It is too early for this shit. My dad has a full fifteen minutes to leave to God’s know what until nine in the evening. By the volume of his scream i could say that he in the living room and very pissed. 

I quickly get up from my bed because the last time he was like this, I was sent to the ER. I grabbed my phone, keys, and a sweater before deciding where to hide. I looked to my closet, Nah he that where he found me last time. I look on my bed nope my limbs when to sleep the other time and I couldn’t move for a full three hours so that’s out. I look to the window. There is a ledge to stand or sit on and a roof on top to shield me. The perfect hiding place but there is one problem, it’s twenty degrees with an inch of snow on the ledge. I don’t have much of an option as his rants starts to die out. 

I open the window and sat on the window sill. I didn't think this shit though because as soon as I placed a foot on the ledge I retracted it back. My footprint laid on the fresh snow. It was the smallest nope I that I could have managed. Of course my dumbass takes five to ten pictures of it and saves one of them as my lock screen.

"EREN FUCKING YEAGER" My dad yelling made me lose my balance on the window sill but I steadied myself. I hear the heavy footsteps on the steps. I can't bitch out now. It took all of my willpower not to scream out when I sank my both of my feet to the snow once again and closed the window. I trekked my way to the corner of the ledge and sanked down to the snow to sit with my knees up. That way he wouldn't be able to see me. 

The sweater I took is useless in the merciless twenty degree winds. My ass, feet and somewhat of my pants are wet and cold from the snow. I can feel the cold seeping into my body. I try to keep what small heat in my body but even that's slipping out of me. I am freaking freezing my ass off outside of my room because of him. Why can’t I have a normal life with a normal dad that doesn't want to kill me ninety-nine percent of the time? I can hear the angry screams of my dad in the room but I didn't missed the sob. I strain my ears to hear what exactly is he saying.

"Eren. Eren Yeager where the fuck are you. I’m sorry please come back.” He sobs. I honestly doubt that’s sincere. He is never sorry for his actions. If he is really sorry then he would thrown out every bottle of alcohol in the cabinets, fridge and closet in the trash and signed himself up for help. There was a crash and a slam in my room. I felt really tempted to crawl back to the window. But there was another slam. I can see that my dad angrily rushes to his car and pulls out in record speeds. 

I check my phone for the time but I couldn’t feel my phone or my fingers. I took a quick look at my hands. The frostbite had started to color my fingertips a light blue. Or it's been there... Anyway, this is now a great time to leave this cold corner of death and enter back to my warm room. I made my way to the window and pull it up. Thank God my dad didn’t lock the window. I fell through it and closed the window. 

I can feel my bones locking up into the fetal position for long periods of inactivity. I needed to warm up fast. So I stretch out and stand up. I head to the bathroom and started to fill the bathtub up with water. I went back to my room and remove my clothes and put them in the washing machine. I put a towel around my chest and took out the gift my mother gave me for christmas. It was hygienic products. What I love the most is the lush that she always gets me. It turns the water a deep red. She loves the color red and the color her back by how well it suits her. 

I took one of the many lush and walk toward the bathroom. The tub was full by now so I turn it off. I dropped the lush in and waited for it to paint the water red. I locked the door of the bathroom and took the towel off. I dipped myself in the heated red water. I can feel the heat warming me, lulling me into a deep nightmare.

I don’t know how long I was out but someone is violently shaking me. I was half wake when I see hands on my shoulders. I was feeling a little panic because I’m naked in a tub, the water is red, and the bathroom door was locked. I looked up to see the face and gasped in horror. I started to scream and darkness filled my vision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The mansion is [HERE](http://kolacola.tumblr.com/post/110494020047)
> 
> It was a stressful five months of my life, but I made it with the chapter. I can try to do this monthly but no promises.  
> also, I am traveling from now til the second week of September. 
> 
> The album Communion by Years & Years helped me with this chapter.


	19. Armin and Chatter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's more of a discussion chapter with between Eren and Armin

EREN  
“eren... eren...” Who is calling me? All I ever wanted was a nice heated bath with that red bath bomb.   
“Eren wake up...”   
“Lemme alone” I murmured and turned to my side. That’s odd, why am I on a bed and not in a bathtub.  
“EREN WAKE UP” I shoot up with eyes wide open. Armin was on top of me. By the looks of it, he was trying to shake me awake. His eyes were budding with tears.  
“Thank God. Dude are you okay?” He looks terrified.  
“Relax coconut head, it was a bath bomb.”  
“But you screamed your lungs out back there. Shit, you scared the shit out of me.”  
“I’m sorry,” I said. He gives me a sigh of relief then his face morphs into anger.  
“What the hell is going on with you?”  
“What do you mean dude?” I try to touch his arm be he shrugs it off violently.  
“When the hell were you going to tell me?” He points to the blanket that I am tightly clenching to my frail body. I can feel the shame drape over me.  
“I can expl-”  
“You couldn’t tell me about this? I am your best friend for crying out loud!” The ice in his eyes starts to melt. “What am I to you, Eren?”  
“I am so sorry. I wanted to tell you but-”  
“But what?”  
“I wasn’t ready to tell you and I’m still not ready.” I felt shitty for doing this to him. My eyes began to open the dam of tears. I couldn’t stop them at all. Armin’s eyes widen at the last phrase.   
“But we how does Levi now about this? Even better how do you know Levi?” Armin asks. He starts to get comfortable on my bed because he knows that this will be a long explaination.  
“The first time I met him was on a rooftop on his building but, I'm not going to get into details as to what happened there. "  
“What happened the night before?” He asked me  
“I told you that I wasn't getting into details of that and don’t interrupt me”  
“Alright,” Armin raises his arms in the air in defeat ”Continue on with the story of how you guys met and everything.”  
"Thank you, now the second time was when I was in the convenience store and I was buying a shit ton of junk food when he started to ask me questions about the night before but I evaded the question and told him to fuck off.”  
"Really dude, I bet you that he was only asking you 'How are you?' and you told him to fuck off. Rude"  
"I will kick you off if you interupt me again."  
"Keep going, keep going." He waves his hand for me to continue. "I won't interupt, I promise." I give Armin a stern look before starting aginn.   
"The third time was when I was getting beaten up by these junkies and Levi just so happens to be there and saves my ass. Since I was barely conscious and was unfit ti walk home on my own, he takes me home. The next day Levi forgot I was in his room and he whacks me with the baseball bat with friggin nails. Who has a baseball bat with nails attached in their apartment these days?  
“Cautious people I suppose?”  
“Armin...”  
“Sorry, continue.”  
"The fourth time was when my dad came to the convenience store. Grisha wanted to kill me in the store. Levi again saves my ass and I go to his house once again to not only confess to him, but to my long lost adoptive sister who just so happen to drop by.” I conclude.  
“Aren’t you a part of an assignment?”  
“I really don’t want to talk about it. I’ll save that one for another day.” I felt tired all over again. I want Armin to leave the room so I can change, but he knows already.  
“Is it okay for me to change here or do you want to leave?”  
“I’m going to step out. Call me when you're done, I’ll be in the hallway by the door.” He gets off my bed and leaves out the room and shuts the door silently. I slip out the bed and pull on underwear, pants, shirt and two sweaters in that order. I was warm under all of these clothing. I walk back to my bed and call Armin back. He rushes in with a surprise look on his face.  
“Wait, does that mean that your dad is-” He once again gets comfortable on my bed. I sit on on my bed and put the covers over my legs. I was starting to feel colder than I usually feel.  
“Yes, tragically he is” Armin looks to me with shock.   
“Then all of those days where you came into school with bandages was because of-”  
“Yes.” His eyes widens and his hands frantically taps his pants for his phone.  
“We need to tell the cops. My grandfather is a great lawyer. He can-” I lay my hands on his phone. The numbers 911 was simply waiting for the call key. His thumb was barely off that key.  
“Please don’t call them, at least not yet.” Armin gives me the ‘you have lost your Goddamn mind’ look.  
“You have one second to tell me what is going on before I call them, you know me."  
"There is something I need from my dad."  
“What the hell Eren. You can get killed in the state that you're in or worse!”  
“I know, but I can’t just leave without those particular items.”  
“What items that are more important than your life!?”  
“My pictures, and a note and key my mother gave me for my 17th birthday. I can start moving my things, but I don't know where to go. I don't have the time or strength to do it.” I start to shiver violently. Armin notices it quickly and puts his hand on my forehead.   
“Eren, what were you doing in the bathroom anyway? The water was cold when I found you in the tub.” Armin ask me with concern.  
“I was hiding from my dad because I just so happen to ‘eat’ out the fridge last night, but the thing is that I was knocked out the whole day.” Well, I wasn't lying. I had nothing better to do yesterday, so why not sleep the whole day."  
"Where were you hiding?"  
"Outside my window on top of the small roof."  
“Dude, I think you're sick. Just stay in bed for the rest of the day. I'll bring you some water, okay.” I nodded. Armin walks out the room and in ten seconds he was back. He places the cup of water on the drawer with a bottle of Tylenol. “Sorry, I couldn't find any ibuprofen for you so I got these from the bathroom.”   
“It's okay dude. Is my inhaler in the drawer?” Armin gives a quick look in the drawer and pulls out my inhaler and places it on the drawer. I gave small thanks to him.   
“Well, I'm heading of-”  
“Hey, Armin? Don’t say anything to Levi about this just yet. I want to tell him on my own.”  
“Yeah sure. Can I ask you something?”  
“Go ahead Coconut Head.”  
“When you said about leaving this place without your pictures, who is in those pictures?” I can feel the drowsiness cover my eyes.   
“They are pictures of my mother and brother.” With that Armin silently nods and leaves my room and closes my door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel really bad for leaving everyone in the dark from the last chapter for four months. Since I am on vacation and it's my birthday, why not post a chapter today?


	20. Play Fiends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's at Eren house for a while then he travels over to the party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING FOR CUTTING AND ANOREXIA/BULIMIA

Eren

The low vibration of my phone wakes me up from a restless sleep. I peer over to see Levi was calling. My finger touches the answer key and put the phone to my ear.

“Hello?” I whispered into the phone.

“Eren? You sound like shit.” Leave it to Levi to be blunt as ever.

“I know, what's up?” 

“Are you ready?”

“The fuck?” I look at the time and see that it was three twenty P.M. What the hell is he talking about?

“By the tone of your voice, it appears that you have forgotten about today.” I look at my phone to see Dec. 31 on the phone. Every is coming back to me. Today is the New Year party.

“Shit, I’m sorr-”

“Don’t worry about it. Is your front door open?”

“Probably. Wait, there a black Accra blocking the driveway?” I ask.

“Let me check, hold on.” There was silence for five seconds before he spoke again. “Yeah, it's there why do you ask?” 

Shit, he's home. Judging from how quiet the house is, he is sleeping. That means that Levi can’t come in. But he came in the last time. Oh well, it only for at least an hour before we leave. I rise up from my bed and start to walk to the door. I turn to the nightstand to see that the meds, water, and inhaler was still there. I walk back to the nightstand and shove the meds and inhaler in the small drawer and shut it close. Then I drain the water from the cup. I forgot that I was still on the phone with Levi. I raise my phone to my ear once again.

“Are you still there?” I said.

“What happened to you? You were silent for five minutes.”

“Sorry, I was busy doing something.”

“So can I come in or no?” I can hear the engine being turned off. 

“Yeah, but just be mindful that you keep quiet when you come in. Text me if the door is locked.” I said and hang up the phone.

LEVI 

I was already exhausted with shitty glasses antics in preparation of the party. Her way of doing things makes me annoyed. Do this, do that, spin this, order that, roast him, blaze her, and all of that bullshit. I told her that I was picking Eren up and left with a quick grab of my keys and helmet. 

I walk to the door and gave a small twist to the doorknob to see if it was unlocked like Eren said it was. One small push to open the door and I was in. I walk in quietly and shut the door with a click. Grisha was nowhere to be seen. He is probably inside his room then. 

I wander around the house with absent mind. The bottle cans were littered everywhere. From the stairs to the kitchen laid rum and vodka bottles in disarray. I was in the kitchen where most of the bottle were built in a wall and painted with such vivid colors. Red, yellow, orange, purple, and the Caribbean blue were sloshed together to make a distorted face of both Grisha and Eren, but Grisha was prominent in this artwork. Grisha looked angry with a monsterish looking face with Eren stuck within his face with a regretful looking eyes and dishevel hair. 

I turn away from the kitchen and carefully walk upstairs. Eren still in the shower. That is a good thing because I can snoop around his room without a questioning look. I walked into his room and quickly shut the door. The room was immaculate from the closet to the bed. It almost meets up with my standards. It takes me ten seconds to snap out of my trance. I have no time to waste when Eren can come out of the bathroom any second.

I began to rummage through his drawers. The shower was still at large so I was still good for a couple of seconds. The first drawer holds no meaning, it was filled with underwear. Most of them was balled up inside socks. I could tease him in a few months or so for the choice of underwear. Like seriously, women underwear, nice going there Dead Eyes. The second drawer had nothing but a shitton of art supplies. I understand the desperation getting art to a person perfection but shit. This is excessive. I go through the drawer just in case that there wasn't a surprise in the art. The third drawer was filled to the brim with old and new sketchbooks. They vary in book and age. His first book could be buried deep within the drawer. I will not waste my time on this. 

The last drawer were books placed neatly in the middle with a hard covered book that reads 'How to Live/Die'. That's weird, I thought to have three books on living and dying. I start to look further into the drawer when I cut myself. I gave out a hiss of pain and immediately pulled my hand back. I look down to see the deep cut on my index finger. What the fuck, why was this drawer booby trapped? I give the drawer a closer look at the drawer and my heart dropped to my knees. The drawer was filled in one corner with blood dried razors ranging from sharpening razors to shaving razors. In another corner was neatly folded up bloody sheet, gauzes, and paper towels. The back of the drawer held up tally marks with a bloody sticky note that reads 'Days Clean'. The tallies counted up to 409 days. 

I felt a switch flip on in my mind. Telling me to use that blade to make a new landscape all over my legs and sides. 

_'you can do it, Levi!'_

**'stop.'**

_'take the first mark!'_

**'please don't make me.'**

_'its pleasure after the fifth one,'_

**'no, it's not'**

_'don't you want it?'_

**'no, it not worth it'**

_'doesn't it feel good to have a blade in your hand again?'_

**'STOP'**

I quickly closed the drawer and took off my shoes. I ran out of the room and to the kitchen. I release the water from the faucet and watch the blood from my finger bathe itself in the miniature waterfall. The shower was still pouring in the bathroom. How long does this kid shower? 

I should check up on him but I left a trail of blood from the room to the kitchen and I still feel buzzed from the memories of high school hitting with trucks and boats. I need to sit down or or lay down. Shit, I need to nap this off, but I can't leave this trail of murder like this. I take a load of paper towels and clorox from under the sink and started to clean the trail off. It takes a full ten minutes to get to the room where the whole thing originate. The drawer took in most of the damage of my finger could of gave out. I took off my cardigan and my glasses and placed it on his bed and drench the paper towels in bleach. I started to scrub the remaining blood from the last drawer. From top to bottom I was cleaning that damn drawer. 

By the time I was done I ran down and threw out the paper towels and placed the bottle of bleach back under the sink, Eren finally turned off the shower. I walk back into the room and looked down to see that shirt and socks are still the pristine white as they were before. I walk to the closet and picked out an outfit similar to mine for Eren. I place the clothes on foot of the bed. I lay down face down and my eyes started to droop. It was at least five seconds before Eren quietly walks in the room. 

"I see that you made yourself comfortable." I look up from the bed and see him in an extra large shirt that touched his knees. He looks adorable he is swimming in his own shirt. I took a quick look at his face. His dark circles was showing dominatingly, and his puffy, red eyes looks like they are about to go for round two with the absent shower.

"You look like shit, dude." I blurred out.

"And you are the one to talk?" He spits out. He walks towards me and catches a tear from my eye. "Did anything happened while I was showering, or before you came here? I don't need to know about it if you don't want me to." I nod to him and swipe my cheeks. More tears came faster than I can clean them.

"I'm sorry, can I use your bathroom?" He nods and I bolted to the bathroom. I lock the door as soon as I entered and I broke out in tears. What is wrong with me? I should be over those days where the blade was more appealing than myself. I took me awhile for me to get up from the floor. I walk to the mirror to get a peak of myself. I couldn't see the mirror and the mirror couldn't see me. I started to giggle and switch the faucet on and wash my face. I look under the sink and took out the first aid kit. The box was filled with band-aids. I take the rubbing alcohol and pour it on my finger. I gave out a hiss. I put the bandaid on neatly and put everything back in their respective places. I turned off the faucet and walked out of the bathroom and into the room. 

Eren was already dressed in a black cardigan, dark jeans, white shirt and chucks, and was waiting patiently for me. 

"Thank you for the outfit."

"You are welcome." I look at him and I did a double take on him.

"What wrong?"

"When did you dye your hair?" I ask him

"What do you mean?" He looks more confused than me.

"Your hair is a lighter shade that it was before." It used to be a chocolate brown. Now it was a weird auburn color. His hair wanted to run away from the malnourished boy who can't seem to find his perfect weight. I rummage through his closet and threw a slouchy beanie at him.

"I didn't dye my hair at all." He catches it and wears it with his bangs spilling out.

"Forget it. Also didn't you have dark circles." Whatever he is using on his face for the few minutes I needed to recover, must of have been really good because whatever impurities that what on his face disappeared like magic.

"What dark circles?" He said innocently. I walk past him and put on my glasses and my carrigain. I walk past him again to put on my platforms. Eren was already in front of the door. I look up to see that they weren't there.

"I don't know how you did it Yeager, but I'm onto you." 

"I have many secrets, Levi."

"Oh really" I raised my eyebrow at him. I walk out his room when he puts his hand on my shoulder and leans a little to my ear.

"I can show you some of them, if you let me." His hot breath was there for the longest 3 seconds of my life. I turn to the little devil. He was giving me a THE slyest smirk. I can feel my cheeks heat up and my heart racing. We began to casually stroll out of the house. I grab my keys and my helmet and walk out the door.

Eren

"You are one piece shit you know that." We walk towards the Kawasaki. I took out my phone to see that it was 5:05. We are late to Levi's own party. 

"And I'm proud of it." I smile at him. We get to the bike and he gives me the helmet from under the bike. Levi gets on the bike and I follow in suit. My arms link ups around his waist. Levi revs up the bike and sped away to the house outside city. Ten to twenty minutes later he pulls over to the nearest store.

"Eren? Are you okay?" He asks me as he turns around flips the face shield up the and gives me a look of concern.

"Nothing..... Why?"

"Your grip started to loose. If I was to continue driving, you would have flew right off the bike." He gives a quick look at the store in front of us. "I have an idea, you wait here." Levi unmounts and quickly runs to the store with his helmet on. 

As soon as he was out of sight I unmounted and took off the helmet. I run as fast could to the nearest trash can. I barely made it as I vomit out my lunch of cranberry juice, three bags of chips, six candy bars and soda from my stomach. Funny, I can't seem to catch my breath. I wasn't an anxiety attack by a long shot. I felt for my asthma pump that thank God it was in my pocket. I give it two pumps and held it for a good ten seconds. The good thing was that I can breathe again, the bad thing was that I caught a cold. I feel my body reaching a limit of all of the movement today. I search through my pockets to feel that I have a Tylenol pack in my pocket. I started to thank God for blessing me with random drugs in my pockets. I open the packet and swallowed the two pills dry. 

I feel like going home but I can't. I promised Levi that I will go with him. I slip a spearmint gum in my mouth and I walk back to the bike. It looks like Levi haven't come back yet. I mounted back on the bike and put the helmet on. Seconds later Levi comes back with a black scarf. 

"What is that for?" I asked him.

"I'm going to tie this around the both of us, so that when I am driving I don't need to be worrying about you losing your grip," Levi said. He mounts on and begins to tie the scarf around us. He give a knot and start the bike.

"Don't you think this is ridiculous?" I ask him.

"No. As long you are safe, it really doesn't matter to me." i can feel myself blush from those simple lines. We drive away from the store. I hold on to him tightly as we speed off. It felt like hours before we got there and the only thing that can utter from my lips were holy shit. The place was large and decorated with lights and sounds.

"Do you like it?" Levi asks me. He parks the bike and unmounts. He first removes the scarf from our waist. I take a breath of fresh air and a small stretch. Levi's eyes were large for half of a second and turn his head. My bulging stomach must have been showing. My hands flew to my shirt and pulled them down, just in case someone else wanted a peak. He takes out a cover for the bike. I gave up trying to figure out when he had the time to neatly fold that cover.

"I can't judge from the outside," I tell him. I unmount and give him his helmet. Levi put both of the helmets under the bike and covers the said thing. Levi catches up to me.

"Well, you can come with me to a whole new world," Levi said as he leads the way to the party. I roll my eyes from that comment.

"Are you quoting from Aladdin?" I quip

"Probably, Why?"

"Nothing, it just that you are a dork." Levi looks heartbroken. He places a hand on his chest and mocks a hurt.

"I'm a dork? I feel so hurt by those words." I start to giggle and the short dude with platforms cracks a smile. We reach the door by the time our antics died down. The music was loud from the heavy drops of the shit Levi listens to. It has something to do with house or dubstep. Whatever the case maybe, it is fucking loud.

"Are you ready to go in?" He asks me. My palms of my hands feel moist and everything looks far away. I push away from this fear and put my hands on the door.

"I'm ready." I push the door and the blast of music and weed punches the shit out of my senses. I have never been to a party this large in my life. It made my birthday parties look like a backdoor outing.

A random dude was holding the tray. He asks the both of us if we wanted some. Levi nods and takes one. I, on the other hand, wanted to take as many as I usually would get in the convenience store. Then Armin’s voice pops into my head. If you are at a party and they offer you colorful candy, always take one. You don’t know if it is candy or not. I give out a sigh and take one. I turn around to see that Levi was nowhere to be seen. So I start to walk up to the familiar blond coconut by the punch.

"Armin, I feel like you are everywhere." He turns to me and gives me the biggest hug. "Aren't you suppose to be studying for that test next week?" I ask him.

"The G.D. test?" I nodded. "I took that three weeks ago. So I'm on break for an extra week."

"You lucky son of a bitch. I still need to paint something over."

"How are you going to do that?" Armin asks. I take one of the spiked drinks from the table and drain it down.

"While I'm drunk and naked."Armin snaps and winks at me.

"That's the only way to go!" He said. Armin grabs my hand and starts to lead me to the dance floor. I love this drunk Armin, the complete opposite of the sober one. He looks free from troubles and life. This is the best thing that happened since that incident in high school.

It was a click in my head and body and I began to balter in the electronic music. This new feeling of chills every time someone touches me was foreign to me. My body was in overdrive with all of this enhanced senses. Time became a blur of mix n’ match shades of colored lights that furiously ran wild around the dark and clothes. I felt a light tap on my arm that sent a wave of chills. I turn my head to see Levi gesturing me to come with him. I grab his hand and he starts to guide me away from the wildly dancing limbs and through the halls and upstairs of this graffiti painted mansion.

“Are you taking me to the roof?” I ask him.

“That was the surprise, but you had a lucky guess.” Levi takes me through the door to meet the star littered sky with the hints of the turquoise and blue dance everywhere, leaving the darkest parts of the night to make way for them. I take my hand away from Levi’s and began to walk towards the ledge that faces the city. It was a bright yellow, green, and red that illuminates one of the corners of the inky sky. I was lost for words. I couldn’t keep my lips together because of this... Masterpiece. A single finger place itself on my lips It felt like fire, but in a good way.

“No words, just stare,” Levi said. His hands reconnected with mine and starts to guide me towards the edge of the roof. We sit there with our legs dangling off the roof.

“How did you find this place?” I ask

“I just so happen to stumble across this abandoned house.”

“Sure.” I shot him a skeptical look.

“Already doubting me. If it wasn't for me you would get to see this.”

“Alright, alright.” I make a quick glance at my phone to see it's 11:30 P.M. Thirty minutes before the new year. I haven't made any resolutions yet. This night was peaceful despite the raging music downstairs.

“Levi?”

“Yeah?”

“I think we are high?”

“What makes you think that?”

“Everything looks distorted, every time someone or thing touches me, I feel an instant rush of the chills or fire, but in a good way. Also, everything looks kind of blurry.”

“Same thing here. It looks like that candy that we ate earlier was molly.”

“Molly?”

“Ecstasy,”

“Oh,” There it was, that awkward silence. It is like the awkwardness was anticipating this particular moment. The awkwardness was very thick in the air at this point. I check my phone to see 11:50 P.M. scribbled in that weird font on my phone. In Ten minutes it will be 2016. Levi turns his head towards me and breaks this short silences.

“What are your resolutions?” His eyes were dilated at this point.

“What?”

“Resolutions. You know the thing you make for the new year to have accomplished before the next year?” I flip him off as he giggles at his own sarcasm.

“I dunno at this point. I was hoping to move out the house next year but I don’t have a job. No, I won’t be able to hold a job.”

“Then get the job with me.”

“I rather not. A place where my dad frequents at a place is a no zone.”

“Who said I can’t handle your dad?”

“Well, I don’t want you to get-”

“ Eren, Relax and think. Who was the one who push away your dad when he was having a tantrum.”

“You were”

“Exactly.” He showed proudness all over his face.

“I also want to try to beat this bulimia. It might not work but I want to try.”

“Well, that’s the spirit.” Levi places his hand on my head and ruffles my hair. Well, it not likes it was already messed up in the first place.

"Well, what’s your resolution?”

“To be honest, I’m not really sure about it. If anything I want to make amends.”

“Amends?”

“Yeah, to someone who hurt me in high school.” I wanted to hold his hand but it doesn't look like Levi would like the pity gesture. His eyes have darkened as his mood. I have this lingering idea in my head but I'm not so sure if I should do it. Well, here goes nothing.

“Oh, I haven’t rewarded you for that”

“Huh, a reward for what?” I began to blush like there was no tomorrow. I

“For that time in the store”

“That was-” I pressed my lips to his. It was more than that cliche spark. It was a jolt of pleasure. The fireworks were flying into the ink sky and exploding into these bright bursts of color. I stop to see Levi was wordless with wide eyes. Even he cannot explain the mess I have created. I wanted to jump off this roof for the stupidity I have caused, but he kisses me back with much more fierceness. Did I want this to happen? I’m not so sure now. This artificial pleasure has given this kiss more definition of the words high, euphoria, and fake. Did I want more of this feeling? Yes. At this stage, I was on top of him. I just so happen to see the sheer terror in just a glance off the roof. She was here. At this party. Her out of all people. I began to slowly get off of Levi and quickly walk to the door. Levi looks disappointed at the action but snapped out of it of that euphoria and quickly came to my side.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked me. His voice had skipped a note trying to come out of that heated makeout session.

‘I need to leave right now. Is Mikasa at here?” We walking quickly out of the staircase when my phone starts to blare out. I check to see that the said person had just so happened to text me ‘where are you’. I text her my location. It was like this moment was happening in fast forward. She texts me what I hope my eyes had seen. I feel like screaming at this point but it would be futile because I would get a whole lot of crazed and concerned faces.

“Yes, but what happening” There was a great concern in his voice with a hint of regret. The second I saw her I pointed to her.

“Do you see that girl with the eyes?” Levi’s eyes follow the finger to the girl with the punch in the dance floor. I put my hand down and began to walk to the exit.

“Yeah I see her. Why what's wrong with her?”

“That's the person I have been avoiding since sophomore year.” I began to text Mikasa if she can take me home.

“Sophomore year of college?”

“No of high school.” Well, Levi’s eyebrows could've hit the moon if it wasn’t attracted to his forehead. Mikasa has texted me that she at the back of the house. Levi was hovering over me to see the text message. He quickly turns me around to lead me to the back exit and to the black Accra with the engine running.

“Is that person dangerous?” Levi asked me

“I guess you can say that.” Mikasa was in the driver’s seat and she was ready the floor it as soon as my ass touches the seat. I open the door and jump in. Levi closes the door and I roll down the window to see Levi Just idly standing there.

“Hey Levi,” I call out to him. He walks closer to my door. Since he’s short, there is no need for him to crouch down.

“Yeah?”

“Thank for tonight and this party. I would have been doing something else but I came here with you. So...Thank you” Levi began to look like a tomato. I wave to him and zoom off. Twenty minutes into the drive Mikasa slightly turns to me.

“You look like a cherry.” I look into the mirror at my right and true to her words my face looks horribly red.

“Shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not done but I feel bad for not updating for two months.
> 
> EDIT: I merged chapters 21 with 20 so it's just one continuous read and no awkward pause.  
> Thank you for over 190 kudos and 6000 hits

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments on the story and editing notes  
> my tumblr is [cascading-colors](http://cascading-colors.tumblr.com/) leave a message or anything and i  
> also track this fic 'fic:to oblivion'


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